The world has turned upside down, hasn’t it? Most everything in our lives has changed and it’s hard to wrestle with that change.
Maybe that’s why I’m struggling so much to write these days or to find any kind of structure at home. I’m wrestling with the changes in our lives.
It’s not just wrestling with change. It’s wrestling with guilt, as well. Guilt that both my husband and I are still working and can both work from home. Guilt that we have enough to eat and have a roof over our heads, when others have lost their jobs and continue to struggle through this crisis. If my biggest issue is getting used to my husband being at home instead of being gone 12 hours a day, then I’m just a spoiled girl.
Along with change and guilt, there’s the issue of just missing my friends. Yes, we’ve started chatting with each other over Zoom, but it’s not the same as picking up the phone to say let’s have lunch or let’s all go to dinner, or let’s see a movie. Everything has changed and changed quickly. It’s going to take some time to adjust to that change.
And of course, there’s sorrow, sadness, and fear. This pandemic is real, people are losing their lives, and you never know if it’s going to hit your family next. The uncertainty is disconcerting to the say the least. No wonder I feel off-balance these days.
Some of the change is good. And I always try to hone in on the good things. The focus on families, time together, and only on the essentials that we need is good. The overspending, overbuying, too much busyness, going 90 miles per hour from one event to the next, I think it’s good that we all have to slow down and refocus on what’s truly important.
However, like I mentioned above, I miss friends, and just the act of getting together for dinner. I miss the ease of leaving my home and going where I please.
Even though, I know deep inside, the slowing down, the simplifying of our life, is a good thing, there is a part of me that’s in mourning for what was. And I think it’s okay to mourn our old life, even with good things happening through this awful pandemic. The focus on the good, and the focus on the gratitude will get us through this.
At Last Sunday’s church service (thankful they can stream on-line so we can still “go to church”), our pastor talked about basically having an “anchor” verse. Having a piece of Scripture that you can hang on to during these uncertain times. I’ve seen many Scriptures on Facebook and across social media. All are good. The first one that came to mind for me was Jeremiah 29:11-13. Most of us are familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
So, yes, we can trust that God has a plan for us. But to me, I love the two verses that follow, verses 12-13: “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
How comforting it is to know that we can continue to call on the Lord, pray to him and he listens! That we can find him if we seek him with all of our heart. What good news that truly is these days.
The world may be upside down and the future is very uncertain. We’re treading on unfamiliar territory. But God is the same. And God is still here. We just need to take advantage of this enforced slow down in our lives to seek him and be grateful for our families and for our time together. God is still here.