Category: cycles of life

Being There

As I write this, the world is talking about the shocking passing of Robin Williams. As the TV talking heads are going through his television and movie credits, I realize how many of his movies I’ve seen… and loved.  It is incredibly sad to lose such a great talent.

But through all of this discussion, this man who is being heralded as a comic legend, who entertained millions, has suddenly become very human.  Yes, we tend to put celebrities on a pedestal, forgetting that along with their immense talent, they are human beings, going through this life of ups and downs, marriage, children and everything else.

Obviously, Robin Williams was battling more.  He was always open about substance abuse, but did many of us realize he struggled with depression?  Severe depression.

It’s almost inconceivable that someone who was so loved and admired was in such a dark and lonely place where he was driven to take his own life.  He brought such laughter to everyone else, but couldn’t find the joy for himself. It’s tragic.

I’m almost embarrassed with my last post, when I talk about “wallowing” in my own sadness of recent events in my life.  Thankfully, I haven’t been to the darkest place where I’ve thought of a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.”  I always knew I’d pull out of this and things would get better.

But I didn’t share with many how sad I was feeling.  I don’t always share, because I don’t want to burden others, I don’t want to come across as a whiner, and I don’t want to be considered a negative person.

Was that mindset preventing me from getting the support and encouragement I needed at the time?  How do you balance reaching out without being a whiner?  How do you invite people in without pushing them away?

Hopefully, more discussion will come from this awful passing of Robin Williams about depression, about how to help others.  One thing I heard this morning was just be there. You may not be able to solve the problem, but you can come along beside someone and just remind them that they mean something to you, that their life has value.

Maybe this is a reminder to all of us to hug your family and friends and say “I love you.”  I hate that we have to be reminded, and that we’re usually reminded when someone else has died. We need make this part of our daily lives.

Life is short.  Reach out to someone.  Touch base.  Just be with someone today and hold their hand, give them a hug…. heck, just smile at someone and wish them a wonderful day.

What a difference we could make if we all did that every day.

Transitions in Life

What’s the old saying? The only thing that is constant is change.  Something like that.

I’ve been thinking recently about transitions in life.  Although we may say we wish our kids would stay little, or that we could stay in high school or college forever, or that we could stay 25 years old and not grow older, we know that life doesn’t work that way.

And it’s usually for the better. When we don’t go through the transitions in life and go on to the next stage, we’ll miss something wonderful that God has planned for us.

My niece just graduated high school, the last of her siblings to do so. My niece was such a cute baby and I wanted to coddle her forever.  Her big sister and I were very close and I have memories of her toddling to me and lifting her arms so I could pick her up.

Precious memories.  What would’ve happened if we stopped time right there?  Obviously, things like my one niece’s high school graduation and the excitement and hopes we have for her as she moves on to college would be gone. We wouldn’t see her blossoming into the young woman filled with sky-high, wonderful dreams.

With my other niece, if time had stopped when she still held her arms up for me to carry her, we would’ve missed her wedding, and her beautiful son.  Would I trade meeting my great-nephew to keep his mother as a toddler?  Look what we would’ve missed!  No way!

Most times, we’re nervous graduating college.  The bubble of academia and college life was something we quickly got used to. What would the real world be like?

Yet, if we don’t transition, then we miss out on marriage, family, and watching our own kids grow.

Transitions are scary, there’s no doubt.  But I wouldn’t want to miss the journey going from my own wedding day, to the day I went wedding dress shopping with my own daughter to watching her being escorted down the aisle by her father. If I could’ve stayed young, I  would’ve missed too many sweet moments.

I look forward to growing old(er) with my husband. We made the transition from a house full of teenagers to empty nest.  And yes, the empty nest time has been very sweet.  But when the next transition comes along, possibly of grandchildren, you can bet I’ll be standing in that doorway ready to leap.

Life is scary. Growing up and growing older can be frightening.  But I don’t want to stagnate — and I don’t want to miss the next exciting part of my life that God has planned.

What about you? Were some transitions in your life more difficult than others?

 

Bloom Where You’re Planted

In watching the Winter Olympics over the past few weeks, it struck me that many of these athletes more than likely became athletes because of where they were born or living at the time they became passionate about their sport.

I know that’s not always true — examples like the Jamaican bobsled team, the lone athlete from the Philippines, who was a figure skater, and even a skier or snowboarder who was from Indiana. Hmmm…. I don’t recall many mountains in Indiana.

But how much does geographic location influence our life choices?  I’m a military brat, so we moved frequently.  In elementary school, we lived in Virginia.

I loved Virginia! The beaches were great. I loved learning about colonial history.  I loved the field trips to Jamestown and visiting Williamsburg. I could see myself attending the College of William and Mary and hanging out in Williamsburg or at the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. for the rest of my days.

Alas, the military moved us again — to New Mexico.  New Mexico couldn’t have been much different from Virginia!  As our location shifted, so did my dreams. Throughout middle school and the beginning of high school, I knew I was going to California.  I was going to attend UCLA and work in the entertainment industry. That was my plan. I was going to make it big in Hollywood.

But plans change. In the middle of high school, we were transferred again. This time to Austin, Texas.  Yep, it’s true. Texas is like a whole other country.  And Austin had a great university right there, so I ended up close to home, going to the University of Texas (Hook ‘Em Horns). My entertainment dreams were still around, because I studied studied Radio, Television and Film.

Geography did have an influence on my life. I haven’t been to Virginia since I was a little girl.  I have never lived in California.  Now, I did work for 15 years in Radio and Television — in New Mexico, so that dream never died. It just moved with me to where I was living at the time.

Six and a half years ago, my husband got a job in the Dallas area.  Dallas?  No, if I was living in Texas, it should be Austin or San Antonio.  Dallas wasn’t even on my radar.

But guess what?  We love it here.  Like any good military brat, I know how to make wherever I’m living be “home.”  And this truly does feel like home to me.

While there are some who will leave home to pursue their dreams — the Olympic athletes who go to where the best training facilities are, who learn the love of their sport from growing up surrounded by that sport — most of us will bloom where we’re planted.  It may be a different place than our childhood home or it may be the place where we’re born and raised and “everybody knows your name.”

In all my dreams of Williamsburg and Hollywood, even Austin, I never thought about Dallas. It’s a good thing God knows best.

I believe that God has me right where he wants me — and I need to bloom right here.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Cycles of Life



It’s been an interesting week.  I’m seeing the cycles of life, so to speak.  We received word that my aunt, who is in poor health, had taken a turn for the worst. Her kids and family were gathering around to spend time with her.  
A few days later, my husband and I attended a wedding – the joyous celebration of a young couple beginning their new life together. At the wedding, we spent time with friends that we don’t see often enough, unfortunately.
This year, we’ve enjoyed having a new member of our family, my niece’s son, born in January.  He’s my brother’s first grandchild, and my parents first great-grandchild.
Last weekend, my husband and I babysat our 2-year-old great nephew and had a blast.
Our son and his wife have moved to a new city, starting a new phase in their married life and with their careers.
The cycle of life is going strong right now. How many do we know that are fighting cancer, illness, financial difficulties, or celebrating weddings, pregnancies, births, and more?
It all makes me thoughtful and hopefully motivated to live each day to the fullest. None of us know how long we have on this earth. So, we need to spend it doing what God wants us to do, making time and spending time with friends, loving our families and not wasting a moment.
So when the various cycles of life hit, you can celebrate the highs, and have loved ones to cling to during the lows.
What are you doing to appreciate the little things in life? Do you have a church group or neighbors you are close to?  Is it time to call that friend and go have lunch or a cup of coffee? Share your thoughts on the highs and lows and how to make time for the important things.
Meanwhile, live life well… enjoy every moment.