Category: discipline

Break the Cycle of Negativity

I love attending writer’s conferences. It’s wonderful to be around others who also hear voices in their heads, ha!

You leave the conference inspired, ready-to-go, happy to have met other writers. You’re all fired up to write, then you come home and BAM – reality hits! The cursor relentlessly blinks on that blank page. Your family needs your attention, the laundry needs to be done, and oh, you’ve received a rough critique of your work and there’s no way you’re ever going to be published. You might as well give up!

See how easy it is to get into a negative cycle?

On my last blog, I talked about breaking the cycle of negativity and self-doubt, and about putting God first in all I do, so I could walk with confidence and honor Him with my life and with my calling.

What do you do next, when negativity strikes? Conventional wisdom says, you get up the next day, dust yourself off, and start again. Really? I’m tired of starting again and again, and getting nowhere. I’m not strong enough for this. No way! Maybe I should just make popcorn and binge watch something on Netflix.

Oops! There I go again….getting caught up in the cycle of negativity and self-doubt. See how it creeps in so easily?

It’s time to break the cycle. Yes, it’s hard. It’s very hard. I’m struggling with it now. But this is where you have to pay attention and be aware of when the negativity cycle pays a visit.

As mentioned in my previous post, be prayerful. Spend time with God. Talk to a friend. Let your frustrations out, then remember to return the favor when your friend needs you!

We need to encourage one another. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Yeah, this all sounds so cliche. And here comes the frustration once again.

But guess what? Most cliches are true.

We have to get up each morning and try again. We have to celebrate the small victories. We need to lean on friends once in a while (something I’m terrible at doing).

Sometimes, we need to take a break. Only if we make sure it’s a refreshing break, not an “I quit” break.

Finally, always, always, put God first. You can yell at him, you can cry and shake your fist. Then be thankful. Come to him with praise and gratitude, and pick yourself up, walk with confidence and try again.

Pretty soon, as the days pile up behind you, and you’ve found the courage to pick yourself up again and again, you’ll see progress. There will be more good days than not.

I’m hoping and praying through Christ’s strength that this is true, and that cycles of self-doubt will lessen the more I take action and move forward. This is nothing new, but apparently, I need the reminder.

You really do have to put one foot in front of the other. You’ll need to be intentional, purposeful and disciplined. But you won’t be alone as you take these steps, even small ones.

Believe me, I’m taking baby steps as well. I have a goal of where I want to be in a year. And I certainly don’t want to be where I was a few weeks ago — okay, even yesterday.

Psalm 40:2 (NLT) is good to remember: “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”

So, walk on my friends. We can do it, one step at a time.

Stay strong. Keep going. You’re not alone.

Please share your tips on how you keep going when you face obstacles or when you’re discouraged.

Let’s encourage one another.

Time’s A-Wastin’

Every week, I try to have a spark of creative brilliance for this blog. It’s called “Talking Among Friends” for a reason. I want the posts to be something that most of us can relate to and be topics that start conversations. And I want it to be a place where we feel less alone, because, guess what, someone is usually going through the same thing you are.

As much as I try to plan ahead and have words of wisdom to share, there are weeks where the words don’t want to come. And it’s not because I’m overly busy or haven’t had the time to work on the posts.

In fact, one of the most annoying things to me is when I have a block of time to work and I either do something else, or fritter my time away thinking I can do this later. Then, you guessed it, something else always comes up later that needs my attention.

I don’t like wasting time and I don’t like being a procrastinator. Yet, I can be very, very good at both of those things. This leads to frustration, and that frustration can sometimes stop me in my tracks. I feel like going off in a corner to sulk….or at least crochet something.

It’s too easy to look back and see those wasted days, or “drift days” as I call them and start getting down on myself. This is a topic that has been covered recently on this blog  so no need to belabor it here.

Instead, what I want to happen when I look back is to learn the lessons of the past, and carry those lessons into a positive future. We don’t know how many days we have here on earth, and I don’t want to spend those days fretting about what I didn’t accomplish yesterday.

Instead, I want to focus on what I can do today, right now. Whether it be getting my clothes out of the dryer and finally folding them, or doing an act of kindness for someone, or sitting my backside in my chair and writing a blog post.

Life is too short to waste time looking backwards. If I learn something from my past, then I become a changed person and I’m not who I once was. This goes back to not dragging around the weight of mistakes on my shoulders. Every day is a new, fresh start.

So, we begin again today, with a new perspective. I don’t have to be who I once was. I can keep moving forward (if you haven’t seen Disney’s “Meet the Robinsons”, you should. There’s a good message in that movie).

And maybe every day I move ahead, there will be less and less wasted days behind me.

Do you have any good advice or tips on how to combat wasted days or shedding your past mistakes? Please share!

Meanwhile, choose joy this week. Talk with you soon.

 

Easy to Fall, Harder to Get Up

So far, the posts on this blog this year have been about resolutions, starting again, frustration, — all the things associated with a new year. Last week, I talked about being a pinball wizard, or more accurately, being the ball that’s bounced around in a pinball machine.

Well, as life would have it, I just got bounced!

I’ve been dealing with an ankle injury since last summer – a combination of tendinitis and a severe ankle sprain. I ended up in a boot, on a knee scooter, then graduated to an ankle brace and strengthening exercises.

My Mom and I laugh at our matching hot pink walking accessories!

Usually, I’m a beast about physical therapy (a compound femur fracture from a motorcycle accident, and a double mastectomy teach you how wonderful the results of physical therapy are!). But this time, I wasn’t as consistent. When I did my strengthening exercises, it was good and I was getting stronger, but consistency is key.

You can probably see where this is going.

The other day I was walking into church at a pretty good clip, and something popped in my ankle. “Ow!” I don’t know what it was, but it sure didn’t feel good. Leaving church, I was a little hobbled walking across the parking lot. Although I tried to ignore the reality, the truth was, I had re-injured my ankle.

I had a setback because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. Now, there’s no way to know that if I had done all my strengthening exercises, I wouldn’t have re-injured my foot. However, the chances are good that at least the pain and tenderness might have been less.

It’s not easy to do what we’re supposed to do, even if it’s good for us. It’s easier to be lazy, or eat junk food, or blow off my daily devotion. But eventually, things will come back to bite you, and you’ll have to begin again, further away from your goal than you would’ve been had you been disciplined all along.

So, what’s the big lesson?  I say it’s don’t get discouraged when you have a setback. All through scripture, God says not to be afraid or discouraged. We can be inspired by what David tells his son, Solomon, in 1 Chronicles 28:20 (NIV): “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you.” David’s instructions to his son are the instructions we might hear from any parent advising their child, and they’re good words for navigating life.

I have faith that things work for good. In fact, this ankle issue might be just the push I need to get back to regular exercise. In my experience, I feel better when I exercise, and when I have my daily devotions, and when I’m doing what I need to do. The discouragement begins when I stop.

Today, I start again to fight off the pinball effect of being bounced around. We’re reminded in Galatians 6:9 (NIV): “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

How about you? Has there been a time when you fell and had to get up again? Was it motivating or did it make you want to quit?

Let me hear from you.

Motivation – Or Lack Thereof

(Before we get started, I’m also blogging over at www.LearnHowToWriteaNovel.com about the 3 D’s of Writing – somehow these two blogs are related).

Okay, for today,  let’s talk about motivation. We all need motivation to exercise, eat better, and for me, to also write every day.

And everyday, either in my devotional reading or on social media, I see all kinds of inspiring quotes that seem like they were written just for me. They get me fired up, and I say Yes, that’s me, and then I’m encouraged to do my best each day.

But then, inevitably, there comes a day where you wake up, and you know you’re not feeling it. You’re somewhat cranky, or you just want to shut out the world. The quotes and memes that so inspired you fly from your head like they never existed. Motivation has fled the scene.

So, then what? How do you move forward when all you want to do is watch mindless television and eat popcorn with peanut M&M’s?

You can go two ways with this:

  1. Sometimes you do need a break. You need to sit back and rest and rejuvenate. If you’re not at your best then you won’t deliver your best.
  2. But more often than not, we need to find a way to push through it. Move forward. That may mean breaking down tasks into even smaller pieces and slowly start to get things done. When you move forward, then your momentum and motivation might find you.

Today is one of those days for me, where motivation has fled the scene. I didn’t wake up in a bad mood, but I didn’t wake up with a smile either.

So, I’m going to put item #2 to the test today. Break things down and find a way to move forward when in reality, popcorn, M&M’s and movies I’ve seen a hundred times before are calling my name.

If I can get going, then I know I’ll feel better and feel like I accomplished something. Sitting with my popcorn won’t make me feel better, it will probably make me feel worse.

And by writing this blog, I’ve already accomplished one thing! I haven’t written in several days (due to being sick mostly), so this will help me get back on track. Hopefully, by getting some of these thoughts out of my head, I can look to the next step I need to take and what else needs to be done today.

I’m stronger than my lack of motivation. (Does that make sense?) On mornings when I wake up in a blah mood, I need to remember that. Perhaps that’s the best inspirational quote I can keep in mind — I’m stronger.

What about you? How do you find motivation when it has gone away? I’d love to hear from you.

Have a great productive day, everybody!