Category: encouragement

The Waiting

We’ve all heard the expression “Good things come to those who wait”. On the flip side, there’s the Tom Petty song about waiting. As he says, it is the hardest part. Which one is right? In my opinion, both adages are true.

As I look back on my life, there are two very strong examples of “Good things come to those who wait.”  

The first is my husband. We dated in high school, and a little bit in college. In fact, I wrote in my journal when I was 17 that I had met the man I was going to marry. But, as most kids do, we ended up going our separate ways. I moved back to New Mexico, and Vince stayed in Texas, got married, and had a family. Twenty-one years after high school, we got back together again. We’ve now been married 20 years. And he definitely was worth waiting for.

Top: In high school, on the day we met. Bottom: On a recent snowy day.

The other waiting had to do with my college education. I never finished my degree when I started it all those years ago. But at that time, they didn’t have the exact degree program I wanted. I’ve always been interested in writing. Back then, that usually meant getting an English degree which meant teaching. I wasn’t meant to be a teacher.

The alternative was Journalism, which didn’t touch enough on the creative side of writing as far as I was concerned. I finally opted for studying radio, television, and film at the University of Texas. I really enjoyed that, as a long-time TV and movie watcher. But as mentioned earlier, I left Texas and returned to New Mexico and never finished my degree. I did, however, end up having a 15- year career in radio and television. Broadcasting was great and it was a wonderful time in my life. But as I thought about returning to school, it seemed pointless to go back and get a broadcasting degree when I’d already had a career in broadcasting. It wasn’t worth the money or the time, since I had real-life experience with that.

But late last year, my wait was over. In September, I received a notice that Colorado Christian University was offering a Bachelor of Arts degree in Creative Writing. This was the first time I’d heard of this exact degree. I was aware of MFA programs, but not a Bachelor’s in this discipline.

I had a chat with my husband who is super supportive, in so many ways. We discussed finances, time, and as many other details as we could hash out. I finally thought, “Well, I’ll apply and see what happens.”

I was accepted… quickly. Before I knew it, I applied for transfer scholarships, and returning student scholarships, and let me tell you, the doors back to school flung wide open!

So, over 40 years after I started my first degree, I am once again a full-time student and will finish next year through the online modules at Colorado Christian University.

My husband now walks around telling everyone that I had to wait for the right degree program to come along before I went back to school. Okay, 40-plus years is quite a wait. But there you go.

There is good in the waiting. even when you don’t realize you’re waiting. If, however, you can reflect, you can see where waiting was good. I waited for my husband for 21 years. With the support he gives me now, I probably wouldn’t be pursuing my degree after waiting for the right program to come along.

Waiting is good. Waiting is hard. Good things can come to those who wait.

Being Extraordinary

I love movies! Anyone who knows me knows that I love watching movies, and I will watch and analyze the same movie over and over again. Besides the entertainment value, movies can be inspirational.

Sister Act from Buena Vista Pictures

One such movie is “Sister Act” from 1992 with Whoopi Goldberg. Wait. What? A Whoopi Goldberg movie being inspirational? Okay, maybe not the entire movie, but a portion of it, as it relates to the growth of the character of Sister Mary Robert, played by Wendy Makkena.

When Sister Mary Clarence (Goldberg) takes refuge in the convent and first meets the choir, she’s suddenly thrust into the position as leader of the choir. As Goldberg takes the reins of the group, she notices Sister Mary Robert (Makkena) blending into the background and only mouthing the words to the songs. Mary Clarence then brings Mary Robert front and center. Goldberg’s character explains that Mary Robert needs to sing loud enough to be heard over the noise of a diner, with clacking silverware and loud waitresses. Finally, Mary Robert’s voice is heard, and it’s a sweet one. Throughout the course of the movie, Mary Robert is more front and center with the choir, and doing more solos when they perform. She’s come out of her shell and is no longer hiding in the back, just mouthing the words.

How often do we find ourselves hiding and merely going through the motions? Do you have big dreams, but are plagued with self-doubt? As I may have mentioned before, I’m reading a book by Alli Worthington called “Standing Strong.” In it, Worthington talks about “playing small.” In the sense of not letting comparison, fear, or self-doubt hold you back from pursuing your dreams, or just living your life to the fullest.

Mary Robert was playing small – not letting her gifts come out because of fear, and not believing she had a true talent.

Recently, I’ve come to believe there’s no such thing as ordinary. Whether you’re a CEO, a writer, a waiter/waitress, or a housewife (or househusband), you are extraordinary. It doesn’t matter what job you have! Anything we choose to do in our lives has value. Any time we come around friends to laugh and enjoy, or comfort and console, we’re offering something special to them – something extraordinary.

Yes, there are times we feel like we’re living in a mundane world, with routine lives, feeling plain and not special. But that’s not true.

In a recent post on this blog, I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Is there a dream you haven’t achieved yet? For some, their lives may have taken a completely different direction, and they never had the opportunity to pursue their dreams. Goals can go by the wayside when we have the responsibility of a family and bills to pay.

That being said, remember Friends, you are not a failure. Maybe your time just hasn’t come. Or maybe you were destined for something else. I don’t know what God had in mind for you, but I know we have the ability to make our circumstances worse or better, by our own attitude. Even if we’re not where we want to be in our job or in our life, doesn’t mean we aren’t extraordinary. We can offer each other so much, just by giving of ourselves.

I’m blessed to be on a new path these days. I’m a college student again, finally completing my bachelor’s degree that I started over 40 (gasp!) years ago. Will school make me extraordinary? No, not necessarily. But school is proving to me that I’m not too old to keep pursuing my dreams. I’m not too old to influence those around me. I don’t have to keep playing it small.

My new mindset is going to be “There’s no such thing as ordinary.” Remember, you are special. You matter. You are extraordinary.

Do you believe this? Let me hear your thoughts. And let’s encourage one another.

Break the Cycle of Negativity

I love attending writer’s conferences. It’s wonderful to be around others who also hear voices in their heads, ha!

You leave the conference inspired, ready-to-go, happy to have met other writers. You’re all fired up to write, then you come home and BAM – reality hits! The cursor relentlessly blinks on that blank page. Your family needs your attention, the laundry needs to be done, and oh, you’ve received a rough critique of your work and there’s no way you’re ever going to be published. You might as well give up!

See how easy it is to get into a negative cycle?

On my last blog, I talked about breaking the cycle of negativity and self-doubt, and about putting God first in all I do, so I could walk with confidence and honor Him with my life and with my calling.

What do you do next, when negativity strikes? Conventional wisdom says, you get up the next day, dust yourself off, and start again. Really? I’m tired of starting again and again, and getting nowhere. I’m not strong enough for this. No way! Maybe I should just make popcorn and binge watch something on Netflix.

Oops! There I go again….getting caught up in the cycle of negativity and self-doubt. See how it creeps in so easily?

It’s time to break the cycle. Yes, it’s hard. It’s very hard. I’m struggling with it now. But this is where you have to pay attention and be aware of when the negativity cycle pays a visit.

As mentioned in my previous post, be prayerful. Spend time with God. Talk to a friend. Let your frustrations out, then remember to return the favor when your friend needs you!

We need to encourage one another. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Yeah, this all sounds so cliche. And here comes the frustration once again.

But guess what? Most cliches are true.

We have to get up each morning and try again. We have to celebrate the small victories. We need to lean on friends once in a while (something I’m terrible at doing).

Sometimes, we need to take a break. Only if we make sure it’s a refreshing break, not an “I quit” break.

Finally, always, always, put God first. You can yell at him, you can cry and shake your fist. Then be thankful. Come to him with praise and gratitude, and pick yourself up, walk with confidence and try again.

Pretty soon, as the days pile up behind you, and you’ve found the courage to pick yourself up again and again, you’ll see progress. There will be more good days than not.

I’m hoping and praying through Christ’s strength that this is true, and that cycles of self-doubt will lessen the more I take action and move forward. This is nothing new, but apparently, I need the reminder.

You really do have to put one foot in front of the other. You’ll need to be intentional, purposeful and disciplined. But you won’t be alone as you take these steps, even small ones.

Believe me, I’m taking baby steps as well. I have a goal of where I want to be in a year. And I certainly don’t want to be where I was a few weeks ago — okay, even yesterday.

Psalm 40:2 (NLT) is good to remember: “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”

So, walk on my friends. We can do it, one step at a time.

Stay strong. Keep going. You’re not alone.

Please share your tips on how you keep going when you face obstacles or when you’re discouraged.

Let’s encourage one another.

The Wall that Divides Us

The world today is divided. I think we all recognize that.

The “us” versus “them” mentality is thriving. But let’s dig down a little deeper: define who is us and who is them? Who are we divided against?

There is so much division fueled by anger, that it’s difficult to let our voice be heard, but it’s also difficult to truly listen to someone else, to hear their point of view over all of the shouting and the anger. I want to listen and understand others, but is that even possible right now?

So many questions. And not many answers.

What can we do?

First, let’s be aware of any walls we’re building to keep out others. Who are we keeping out? Go back to “who is us” and “who is them.” Just because someone believes differently than you, is that a reason to shut them out? Are we doing this, building divides, without even realizing it? I think it’s become that prevalent in society so we don’t even get that we’re making the division worse.

Let’s start nationally: I’m a citizen of the United States of America. If friends or family have a different political affiliation than I do, does that mean I have to build a dividing wall between us? Absolutely not! Whether or not I voted for our current president is not relevant at this point. I want whoever is president of the United States to succeed, to do what is best for our country. We are called to pray for our leaders, and we need to do that, whether we agree with them or not.

Now, what about closer to home? I’m sure you’ve heard of divisions within churches, and

among people of the same faith. That makes me sad. As a Christian, we all believe in the same God. We all have Bibles, so it should be simple to love one another and treat each other with kindness. Yet somehow it isn’t.

And with our friends and neighbors? Yes, there are times I hold a vastly different opinion than even my closest friends. Does that mean I have to build a dividing wall between “us” and “them?” Really? I don’t think so.

1 Timothy 4:12 (NLT) says, “Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you

live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” The NIV translation says “…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”

The book of 1 Timothy was written by the apostle Paul to Timothy, who was a young leader in

the church. Paul wanted to encourage him. When this scripture says to be an example to all believers, do you really think Paul meant to ignore everyone else?

No, I think we’re called to tear down the dividing walls, whether we purposefully built them or not. I want to be an example to others in the way I live my life, in my hope and faith.

However, just because someone doesn’t believe the way I do, doesn’t mean I ignore them. We should listen to them, listen to their point of view, and learn things we may not have known before. If we look at things from their perspective, don’t you think we’ll find more common ground than not?

As a Christian, I need to be cautious not to put myself in a bubble with other believers and divide myself from those who don’t believe as I do. I think it’s more important to reach out, especially this day in age, and find the common ground. We need to go back to the principle of agreeing to disagree. In the long run, we’re all citizens of the world. We all long to have good lives and be part of a community of neighbors, friends and family. Despite our differences, don’t you think it’s time to really listen to one another….not argue, not shout in anger…but have real conversation? It’s time to tear down the walls that divide us. In reality, there’s no “them” – there’s just us. We’re all in this life together, so I don’t think we can truly afford to be divided from one another.

Questions for you: Have you built a wall dividing yourself from others without realizing it?

How do we bridge the gap with others who may have a different perspective than we do?