The Cancer Journeys: The Gift of Peace

It’s been a while since I’ve written a cancer blog. Admittedly, they are difficult to write. And now, someone close to me is nearing the end of his life due to cancer. It’s hard.

In watching this person face the end of his life, and to watch those close to this dear man, I’m amazed at how calm and peaceful they are when confronting this awful situation. The faith they are exhibiting is extraordinary, even through the fear and sadness.

When any of us receive a scary diagnosis, our reactions can vary. I’ve observed, and experienced, the different ways we can respond. Responses range from fear, to denial, to anger, to hope and the courage to fight, to acceptance. These are similar stages in the grief process. That’s probably not a coincidence. There is grief with a cancer diagnosis, because you are changed from that day on.

In thinking through this, there’s a quote that resonates with me these days:

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. — Brian Tracy

I want to take a lesson from this person close to me and with how he is living up to that quote. I want to face life with dignity, grace, and no wasted time. That kind of strength only comes from God.

Cancer has taught me many things. Sometimes I want to ignore that I even had cancer. There are times I want to use cancer survival as motivation to spur me on and to remind me that I am stronger than I think I am. But it’s not cancer itself that affects me. It’s my faith and how I deal with cancer that can make a difference.

How we handle life’s difficulties can inspire others or disappoint or scare us and others. I can only hope I inspire like my dear family member is inspiring me…with peace and calmness, and serenity. That in and of itself is a gift.

Learning to Trust God…The Hard Way

Two blog posts that I wrote over the summer have come back to haunt me. In July, I wrote a post called “Reality of Faith, Trust and a Positive Attitude.” And the meme included with that post said “Trust in Him, Always, All Days.”

Then in early August, I wrote a post titled “Being Bold in a Time of Fear” which talked about being stouthearted (quoting from Psalm 183:3).

Never could I imagine what I would face where the messages of those two posts would have me nearly eating my own words. Suddenly, I found myself asking if I really did trust God and was I truly being stouthearted.

When things are going well in our lives, it’s easy to believe you have strength, and that you’re trusting God in all things. For me, even through this pandemic, and now with election season, it’s easy for me to say “God is in control.” Because outside of wearing my mask and casting my vote (even when I wish there was a “none of the above” category), I have to leave the fate of this country in God’s hands. It’s pretty much out of my control.

But in mid-August, things hit much closer to home, and that’s when I began to ask if I was stouthearted enough to trust God always, all days. Without going into details, out of respect for the privacy of my family, I became one of the many, many adult children who deal with the health issues of aging parents. Suddenly, I was thrust into a scenario where I had to make many critical decisions (with the support of my wonderful husband). Along the way, I had to deal with the emotions of both parents; one going through the health crisis, and the other watching their spouse of 60-plus years go through said crisis. Plus, I had to deal with my own fears and emotions, all while trying to make important and scary decisions about future care management. The world weighed heavy on my shoulders, causing me to spend a lot of time on my knees, praying, and crying, and yelling.

At my core, I had to answer if I really trusted God. And my answer was and is: yes. But that doesn’t mean I understand what God is up to. It doesn’t mean that I can’t be a little angry at Him because two wonderful people were suffering so much. It just means that I realized I couldn’t handle the burden, decisions, and fear on my own. I had to trust God. I had to lay everything at His feet, begging for peace, healing and relief.

In that moment, it didn’t appear that my prayers were answered, but they eventually were. And, as we’re moving through October, we’ve had a time of relative peace, of adjusting to the situation, and we’ve had miracle after miracle of healing.

We’ve seen God’s hand in nearly everything. Yes, hindsight is 20/20. We can see clearer looking back at the situation than we could while we were going through the tough days. God was always there.

So, what about next time? Will I be able to be more stouthearted? Will I truly trust the Lord through the next crisis? I’d like to think so. I hope I have a long memory. But that doesn’t mean I won’t have moments of fear, anger, and wondering what God is up to.

Whatever my emotions are, I hope that I will always turn to God in prayer, and know He is working with us, even in the darkest of times.

The Reality of Faith, Trust, and a Positive Attitude

www.TalkingAmongFriends.com - Rebecca YaugerI’m a big believer in having a positive attitude. I believe that your attitude can get you through life’s tough times….or it can defeat you.

But what happens when your world stops?

There are times in your life when your immediate world shifts on its axis, while the rest of the world moves on.

Right now, in the midst of the pandemic, there are many who are dealing with their own personal crisis: the death of a loved one, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a job, just to name a few. Their worlds have stopped, while the rest of us have continued on. It’s a strange place to be.

Today, my husband and I find ourselves in a life-halting situation. And it seems to be affecting our attitude about our jobs and our faith. It’s very disconcerting.

But as I’ve been thinking and praying and wrestling with this situation, I keep seeing a similar message via my Bible study, morning devotional, and even Facebook memes. It’s the overall message to trust God. He’s in control, He has a plan, and He’s walking with us.

While that message is comforting, it has also occurred to me that as much as I think I’m a faithful person, I have to ask the question: Do I really trust God?

Do I trust him only in times of crisis? Or do I praise him only in the good times and act like he’s deserted us when the tough times come? Aren’t we supposed to believe in Him 100% of the time? The easy answer is YES! But it’s not so easy all the time, is it?

I’m learning that God doesn’t want us to turn to him only in times of trouble, whether personal or world catastrophe. He wants us to turn to him in everyday life. Every day. Not just some days.

Times are hard right now, no doubt. I’m wrestling with the future, with difficult decisions that need to be made, and yes, I’m a little scared of what lies ahead of us. It looks like there are some tough days coming. But every day, I need to ask myself how is my attitude or my fear interfering with my trust in God?www.TalkingAmongFriends.com - Rebecca Yauger

Like I said earlier, I’m a big believer in a positive attitude. How we deal with the curve balls can make things easier or more difficult. A positive attitude, to me, stems from a positive faith in God.

Truthfully, I’m not all the way there with my attitude. Fear seems to be winning at the moment. Anxiety is clouding the way. So, right now, it’s even more important to get back on the path. To trust in God’s way. To allow Him to bring wisdom and peace. It may take me a little time, but I know I’ll keep pushing ahead. It takes a daily effort and a daily attitude check.

How about you? Do you have any advice on how to deal with tough times? Do you believe you’re trusting God always, all day?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Feel Like A Fraud

Talkingamongfriends.com by Rebecca Yauger - I feel like a fraud post

I feel like a fraud.

Have you ever had those days where not much goes right, or you receive startling news, or well, you’re just having a bad day?

It’s during those times that we’re supposed to have faith, trust God, face things with a smile on your face, right? Yeah, well…(insert eye roll here).  I’m failing miserably at facing things with a smile.

I’ve had a tough couple of days and I’ve let out my frustration with anger and fear. Not being prayerful, not even calming down enough to take a breath and get a handle on the situation.

That’s not like me. As my husband and kids will tell you, I’m not one to yell. I don’t like arguments. If I’m upset about something, it’s best to leave me alone for a few minutes, until I can settle down and we can talk things through calmly. I don’t like harsh words spoken that we can’t retract.

As someone who has been writing about having hope and staying positive, well, I’ve done neither of those this past week. That makes me feel like a hypocrite and a fraud.

But I’m not. I’ve had a few bad days. I was thrown a curve ball and didn’t handle it well, but that doesn’t have to blow everything for me. It doesn’t mean God isn’t still working. And it doesn’t mean that I will continue to have bad days. It does mean, however, that I need to take a breath, calm myself, and dive right back into my faith, into Scripture and try to right myself.

We are living in uncertain times and I don’t know what the days or months ahead are going to look like. I have moments of trepidation for what the future holds for me. However, I don’t have to spiral down into a pit of despair, anger and frustration. I’m a flawed human being, and have emotions that get the best of me sometimes. But I’m not a fraud. I’m just human. And I can right the ship, take a breath and start all over again.

How about you? Do you have times where you don’t handle things well? How do you get back on track? I’d love to hear from you.