Reminder Day

Like a lot of us, I’ve been in a cycle of worry, of feeling sad, and even being short-tempered with my husband, when he doesn’t deserve it. I HATE that!

I fret about my parents and their health.

There have been other family health issues as well. My mother-in-law just went through Hurricane Ida. Oh, yeah, we’re still dealing with Covid and decisions to get the shot or not get the shot, to mask or not mask, to stay open and go into lockdown again.  I am in this cycle of unease about so many things, yet part of me doesn’t want to face any of it.  

Where’s my faith?

I’m pre-worrying about a lot of things (emphasis on “pre”). Things that may or may not happen. I guess I’m trying to be prepared, but again, it’s “pre-worrying.” I don’t know if anything will change, if we’ll have to make tough decisions, or will things continue status quo? It makes me want to cower in a corner.

I didn’t know what to pray for anymore…how to pray. I hit a wall.

With all that said, today was what I’m calling “reminder” day. I’m reading the book “Standing Strong” by Alli Worthington. She inspired me previously with the chapter on self-doubt. Today, I’m in the middle of a chapter on praying  called Ask for it. On page 148, she quotes a text from her friend, who says “Ask for manna. For strength to live off manna. Because after manna comes abundance.”

Manna. Daily manna. The Lord provides just what we need when we need it. So, all of this “pre-worrying” is a waste of time. I know that. However, I certainly needed this kick in the pants reminder! Daily manna.

God heard my unspoken prayer with a reminder that he provides and he’s still with us — always, all days.

Fear can have you cowering in the corner instead of plunging ahead, facing your fears, and getting through them to grow stronger. Life’s worries can be easy to ignore, to back away from, and hide your head in the sand when everything is overwhelming.

Hide my head in the sand. Really? When God’s strength flows through us?

I have to believe that his strength will flow through me, and believe that the manna he provides is enough. And he provides manna every day. No stockpiles for a rainy day. He provides just what we need at the time we need it.

I’ve written about daily manna before. But apparently, God knew I needed the reminder. He answered my prayer when I didn’t know how to pray.

Are all my problems solved? No. Am I still concerned for my parents and everything else going on in the world? Yes. Unfortunately, that hasn’t changed. But my perspective has. God answered my prayers with the reminder that he is with us every day, and he provides. I need only to look to him.

Trust — all days, always.

Thank you, Lord for reminder days.

What about you? How does knowing that God provides help you with your worries?

Let’s encourage one another!

Maintaining Peace

My father is a gardener. His summer gardens filled with veggies are magnificent. When I lived in the same town as my folks, most of my grocery shopping was at their house, enjoying fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, green beans, corn and more. It was all so much better than a grocery store.

But that garden didn’t happen all on its own. Dad didn’t plant seeds and only hoped that nature would provide. He worked at that garden. He was out there every day watering and weeding, and coaxing his plants along so they would grow well. It took time and effort. But, man oh man, was that effort worth it. And Dad’s greatest delight was sharing the fruits (or vegetables) of his labor with friends and neighbors. His garden grew abundantly and he was able to share.  

Recently, I was reading in the book of Psalms, and Psalm 34:14 jumped out at me, “Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” (NLT)

We all know we’re to pray and pray for peace. Not just world peace, but more inner peace.  The peace that comes from God. Sometimes you feel that peace, and other times, you don’t. I’ve come to realize that it’s not just a one-shot prayer. I guess I never thought about working to maintain peace.

It’s like exercise (I bet you can tell where I’m going with this). I’ll have a great workout one day, and I want that to be enough to last at least for a week or longer. But no, the reality is I have to get up and work out again the next day to maintain good health. One and done doesn’t work.

You can’t maintain a home by only vacuuming once (I wish!), or maintaining your car without an oil change. You have to be consistent.

You have to be a master gardener with your prayer life.

We should strive for more than once a week at church talking with God. We need to seek Him daily, and to seek peace daily. Maintaining peace requires coming to God every day, arms open, palms up, asking what does God want from you today. We have to seek his peace every day. We have to water our faith so it will grow.

When things go off the rails, we have to believe that God is still with us, even if we don’t “feel” him. We maintain that peace with the knowledge that He’s always here.

I’m not telling you anything new. However, there are times when a verse from Scripture just jumps out at you. Maybe it’s a reminder from God, or it speaks to you because of whatever circumstance you’re going through at the moment. Regardless, “Search for peace, and work to maintain it” spoke to me today. Especially the “work to maintain it” part. It’s the reminder that we have to take things day-by-day and just do the next thing that’s in front of us. Maintenance isn’t necessarily easy. But like my Dad’s garden, isn’t it always worth it?

What do you think?

The Cancer Journeys: The Gift of Peace

It’s been a while since I’ve written a cancer blog. Admittedly, they are difficult to write. And now, someone close to me is nearing the end of his life due to cancer. It’s hard.

In watching this person face the end of his life, and to watch those close to this dear man, I’m amazed at how calm and peaceful they are when confronting this awful situation. The faith they are exhibiting is extraordinary, even through the fear and sadness.

When any of us receive a scary diagnosis, our reactions can vary. I’ve observed, and experienced, the different ways we can respond. Responses range from fear, to denial, to anger, to hope and the courage to fight, to acceptance. These are similar stages in the grief process. That’s probably not a coincidence. There is grief with a cancer diagnosis, because you are changed from that day on.

In thinking through this, there’s a quote that resonates with me these days:

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. — Brian Tracy

I want to take a lesson from this person close to me and with how he is living up to that quote. I want to face life with dignity, grace, and no wasted time. That kind of strength only comes from God.

Cancer has taught me many things. Sometimes I want to ignore that I even had cancer. There are times I want to use cancer survival as motivation to spur me on and to remind me that I am stronger than I think I am. But it’s not cancer itself that affects me. It’s my faith and how I deal with cancer that can make a difference.

How we handle life’s difficulties can inspire others or disappoint or scare us and others. I can only hope I inspire like my dear family member is inspiring me…with peace and calmness, and serenity. That in and of itself is a gift.

The Cancer Journeys: Blindsided by Emotions

I’m currently planning a series of blog posts about cancer, called “The Cancer Journeys.” This will be a series of posts about my journeys with cancer that are designed to give someone else hope and courage, no matter what you’re going through.

As I was gathering old journal entries and making notes of my thoughts, my emotions started going all over the place. I stopped, and told my husband, “My brain is full.” I got really sad, and, if you ask my husband, maybe even a bit prickly. 😉

It’s taken me a few days to sort through my emotions, and I’ve come to a startling conclusion: I’m angry! This surprises me, because I’m not very temperamental, and not the anger type.

However, right before Christmas, I had surgery, and from that surgery, the pathology showed I had endometrial cancer. This is my third time with cancer, and all three are different types. With this most recent one, before the hysterectomy, we weren’t even 100% sure that it was cancer. With my other two cancers, we already had the confirmed diagnosis and had an idea of what we were dealing with. This time, we didn’t.

It’s really strange to find out you had cancer after the fact. We caught it early, and no other treatment is required. It was almost over before it began. My first symptom showed up November 1st, and by December 21st, I was in surgery. It happened quick, and before I could blink, I was recovering from surgery.

Now, here I am, just over two months later, I’m recovered, feeling great, and back to my regular activities and life. But emotionally, maybe not so much.

As many of you may know, my husband and I were high school sweethearts, who ended up at different colleges, and eventually to different lives. We reunited and married 21 years after high school. Yes, we’re one of those couples. During those 21 years apart, my husband married and had children, then tragically lost his wife in a car accident.

Over the years, we’ve talked a lot about grief, especially how grief can blindside you. You can be going along, doing okay, then hear a song on the radio or smell her favorite perfume, and bam! Suddenly, you’re a puddle of tears.

I think there’s grief with cancer as well. Please know, I’m not equating the loss of a loved one with the loss of a body part or two. But there is a level of grief and emotion when you’re battling for your health.

Even if the immediate diagnosis, surgery, crisis have all passed, you can still be blindsided. Any traumatic event is going to leave a scab. And sometimes scabs get ripped open again and bleeds.

You know what? It’s okay to be emotional. I’m good at stuffing my emotions and putting on a brave front. But once in a while, you just have to roll with the punches. And this week, I’m acknowledging my anger at a third cancer diagnosis, despite the fact that all is well right now.

I won’t carry this anger around forever – that takes too much energy! But I need to acknowledge it, face it, then put it behind me as best I can.

God has gifted me with a glorious life. It’s time to get on with it!

How about you? Have you ever had emotions sneak up on you from a past event? How did you deal with it? I’d love to hear from you.