Category: negativity

Break the Cycle of Negativity

I love attending writer’s conferences. It’s wonderful to be around others who also hear voices in their heads, ha!

You leave the conference inspired, ready-to-go, happy to have met other writers. You’re all fired up to write, then you come home and BAM – reality hits! The cursor relentlessly blinks on that blank page. Your family needs your attention, the laundry needs to be done, and oh, you’ve received a rough critique of your work and there’s no way you’re ever going to be published. You might as well give up!

See how easy it is to get into a negative cycle?

On my last blog, I talked about breaking the cycle of negativity and self-doubt, and about putting God first in all I do, so I could walk with confidence and honor Him with my life and with my calling.

What do you do next, when negativity strikes? Conventional wisdom says, you get up the next day, dust yourself off, and start again. Really? I’m tired of starting again and again, and getting nowhere. I’m not strong enough for this. No way! Maybe I should just make popcorn and binge watch something on Netflix.

Oops! There I go again….getting caught up in the cycle of negativity and self-doubt. See how it creeps in so easily?

It’s time to break the cycle. Yes, it’s hard. It’s very hard. I’m struggling with it now. But this is where you have to pay attention and be aware of when the negativity cycle pays a visit.

As mentioned in my previous post, be prayerful. Spend time with God. Talk to a friend. Let your frustrations out, then remember to return the favor when your friend needs you!

We need to encourage one another. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Yeah, this all sounds so cliche. And here comes the frustration once again.

But guess what? Most cliches are true.

We have to get up each morning and try again. We have to celebrate the small victories. We need to lean on friends once in a while (something I’m terrible at doing).

Sometimes, we need to take a break. Only if we make sure it’s a refreshing break, not an “I quit” break.

Finally, always, always, put God first. You can yell at him, you can cry and shake your fist. Then be thankful. Come to him with praise and gratitude, and pick yourself up, walk with confidence and try again.

Pretty soon, as the days pile up behind you, and you’ve found the courage to pick yourself up again and again, you’ll see progress. There will be more good days than not.

I’m hoping and praying through Christ’s strength that this is true, and that cycles of self-doubt will lessen the more I take action and move forward. This is nothing new, but apparently, I need the reminder.

You really do have to put one foot in front of the other. You’ll need to be intentional, purposeful and disciplined. But you won’t be alone as you take these steps, even small ones.

Believe me, I’m taking baby steps as well. I have a goal of where I want to be in a year. And I certainly don’t want to be where I was a few weeks ago — okay, even yesterday.

Psalm 40:2 (NLT) is good to remember: “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”

So, walk on my friends. We can do it, one step at a time.

Stay strong. Keep going. You’re not alone.

Please share your tips on how you keep going when you face obstacles or when you’re discouraged.

Let’s encourage one another.

Climb out of the Self-Doubt Pit

We’ve heard this all before: Life is a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs and twists and turns. Despite the cliche, it’s still true that sometimes we feel like we are doing well managing life, and other times, we’re drowning.

It’s incredibly easy to get into a rut. And it’s nearly effortless to get into a cycle of negativity and self-doubt, or to throw yourself into the pit of self-pity.

For all my efforts to be a positive person, I’m very good at beating up on myself. I hear the voice of doubt. You know the one that says “You can’t do this and nothing will ever change.”

That was me not too long ago. I was caught in the routine of “I don’t have what it takes to finish the novel I’m working on.” “The tendinitis is back in my foot…probably because I’ve gained weight and can’t seem to control my eating.” “I’m getting older and nothing is going to be better.” Yeah, you get the idea.

However, I hate drowning in that pit, so I was determined to get back to my regular routine, do my morning devotional, and set aside time to write and try to combat all my negative thoughts.

Negativity is a strong force, and it takes effort to fight it.

I’ve been reading through a book called “Standing Strong” by Alli Worthington. (This isn’t the first book by this author that I’ve read. I’m also a fan of “Fierce Faith” and I’ve blogged about that book previously). It had been a while since I had picked up “Standing Strong.” And when I realized where I had left off in the book, I had to chuckle, and marvel, at God’s timing.

I was in the middle of a chapter on self-doubt!

There were so many good nuggets of information in this chapter, and good reminders — Philippians 4:13, for example, “I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength.” (NLV). I don’t like taking Bible verses out of context, but she followed up with “When we bring God into any battle – we win.” All of this was a reminder to put God first, pray to him and let him guide your steps.

Then, two other reminders popped up more than once over various sources. One was to honor the calling of my life, and to honor the life I’ve been given. With all of my negativity, how much honoring, and gratitude, have I given for my life recently? Yikes!

The other reminder was to have confidence. That doesn’t mean walking around like a know-it-all. Confidence means taking a step forward, even when it’s scary, even when you’re not sure of what you’re doing — or better phrased, when you’re not sure what the outcome will be. This confidence comes from God. It all starts with Him FIRST! The rest will follow.

How can you climb out of the pit of negativity? We can’t do it on our own strength. Without thoughtful, intentional prayer, and intentional action, nothing changes. NOW is the time to break the cycle and step out in confidence and honor all that He’s given you and me.

Will it be easy? No, of course not. There will be obstacles. But guess what? I don’t have to stay stuck. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to pick yourself up again and keep going. And that’s when you lean on God, lean on his strength, like it says in Philippians.

I want to honor the life I’ve been given and honor the calling on my life. I can only do that by bringing God into the battle.

How about you? Has a friend spoken truth into your life? Have you run across the same message or words again and again that fill you with hope? I’d love to hear your story.

Let’s encourage one another.

Strive to be a Fuddy Duddy

Sometimes I feel like an old fuddy duddy. I shake my head at the excessive violence, gore, and sex in movies and on TV shows, and the sensationalism of the evening news. I wonder about the moral compass of our youth. Goodness, when did I turn into my grandparents? Am I becoming out of date, out of fashion and obsolete? That can’t be! I’m too young.

Yet, my concern about the content of TV and movies has me re-watching films from my younger days, and retreating into re-runs of the Carol Burnett Show. Were times really simpler then? Perhaps.

But I think the real truth is that times haven’t changed as much as I have.

I’m different now. I no longer want to have a bunch of sex, violence, and bloody gore thrust in my face. Trust me, my imagination’s good enough!

I try to pay attention to what I fill my head with, from the books I read, to the music I listen to, and yes, all the way, to TV and movies. Okay, okay, I’m far from perfect. I still have my guilty pleasure movies and “trashy” TV shows that I like to watch.

But all of this does give me pause. What are we filling our heads with?

Are we so embroiled in the negativity of the news, militant websites, or angry social media posts that only continue to enflame our anger and negative attitudes. Yes, there’s a time to be angry on occasion, but are we so consumed that we’ve lost our joy? Have we forgotten all of the positive things in this world? Have we forgotten how to be kind?

We’re so busy finding the dividing line, looking for a way to tear each other down, instead of building each other up.

To me, it really does make a difference what you fill your head with. You may not even notice your own negativity or anger. It almost becomes habit.

So, call me a fuddy duddy and call me old-fashioned because I don’t want to jump on the latest binge-watching trend.

Again, I’m far from perfect, and have my media weaknesses in spades. But I certainly strive to be aware when my viewing or listening choices cause more anger, depression or negative thoughts.

At this time more than ever, we need to be filled with compassion and kindness for one another. To find ways to agree to disagree and build each other up.

How about you? Do you have tips for kindness and positivity? Do you think the media influences you more than you realize?

 

 

Attitude: It’s Your Choice (Video and Text)

Positive Attitude TalkingAmongFriends.com by Rebecca Yauger

Choosing a Positive Attitude

 

Video Link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/qwez3ye7cvtffau/20200618_150631.mp4?dl=0

 

 

Text from Video:

Hi everyone. The last few weeks on TalkingAmongFriends.com, I’ve wrestled with the choices we make. Whether we choose to have hope or despair, and whether we’re choosing to listen, or we’re choosing to lash out in anger. And these choices are hard when the mood of the country is just so volcanic right now. Things are in such flux between the pandemic, and the riots, and the protests. It’s a difficult time. It’s a difficult time to have a positive attitude and I’m a big believer in attitude.

To me, attitude has always been half the battle. It helped me overcome a motorcycle accident in my younger, wilder days. It helped me overcome from cancer twice. I’m not saying it’s just my attitude alone. It’s prayer, and it’s God’s grace and bringing the right people into my life at the right time.

But attitude helps finding that resolve, finding that strength, finding a way to stay positive, even in the midst of all this chaos. I think it’s so important. If you’re lacking that positive attitude then pray about it, really think about it. Think about how you’re reacting to things and try to make the conscious choice to be positive, and to choose hope.

Stay well, my friends. We’ll talk to you soon. Thanks.