Category: reflections

Being Extraordinary

I love movies! Anyone who knows me knows that I love watching movies, and I will watch and analyze the same movie over and over again. Besides the entertainment value, movies can be inspirational.

Sister Act from Buena Vista Pictures

One such movie is “Sister Act” from 1992 with Whoopi Goldberg. Wait. What? A Whoopi Goldberg movie being inspirational? Okay, maybe not the entire movie, but a portion of it, as it relates to the growth of the character of Sister Mary Robert, played by Wendy Makkena.

When Sister Mary Clarence (Goldberg) takes refuge in the convent and first meets the choir, she’s suddenly thrust into the position as leader of the choir. As Goldberg takes the reins of the group, she notices Sister Mary Robert (Makkena) blending into the background and only mouthing the words to the songs. Mary Clarence then brings Mary Robert front and center. Goldberg’s character explains that Mary Robert needs to sing loud enough to be heard over the noise of a diner, with clacking silverware and loud waitresses. Finally, Mary Robert’s voice is heard, and it’s a sweet one. Throughout the course of the movie, Mary Robert is more front and center with the choir, and doing more solos when they perform. She’s come out of her shell and is no longer hiding in the back, just mouthing the words.

How often do we find ourselves hiding and merely going through the motions? Do you have big dreams, but are plagued with self-doubt? As I may have mentioned before, I’m reading a book by Alli Worthington called “Standing Strong.” In it, Worthington talks about “playing small.” In the sense of not letting comparison, fear, or self-doubt hold you back from pursuing your dreams, or just living your life to the fullest.

Mary Robert was playing small – not letting her gifts come out because of fear, and not believing she had a true talent.

Recently, I’ve come to believe there’s no such thing as ordinary. Whether you’re a CEO, a writer, a waiter/waitress, or a housewife (or househusband), you are extraordinary. It doesn’t matter what job you have! Anything we choose to do in our lives has value. Any time we come around friends to laugh and enjoy, or comfort and console, we’re offering something special to them – something extraordinary.

Yes, there are times we feel like we’re living in a mundane world, with routine lives, feeling plain and not special. But that’s not true.

In a recent post on this blog, I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Is there a dream you haven’t achieved yet? For some, their lives may have taken a completely different direction, and they never had the opportunity to pursue their dreams. Goals can go by the wayside when we have the responsibility of a family and bills to pay.

That being said, remember Friends, you are not a failure. Maybe your time just hasn’t come. Or maybe you were destined for something else. I don’t know what God had in mind for you, but I know we have the ability to make our circumstances worse or better, by our own attitude. Even if we’re not where we want to be in our job or in our life, doesn’t mean we aren’t extraordinary. We can offer each other so much, just by giving of ourselves.

I’m blessed to be on a new path these days. I’m a college student again, finally completing my bachelor’s degree that I started over 40 (gasp!) years ago. Will school make me extraordinary? No, not necessarily. But school is proving to me that I’m not too old to keep pursuing my dreams. I’m not too old to influence those around me. I don’t have to keep playing it small.

My new mindset is going to be “There’s no such thing as ordinary.” Remember, you are special. You matter. You are extraordinary.

Do you believe this? Let me hear your thoughts. And let’s encourage one another.

Seek and You Shall Find – The Negative Trap

You know, for a writer and a blogger, I’m not doing a very good job posting on my blog these days. I know that happens from time to time, but I truly enjoy blogging, so I’m a little bummed out about my lack of consistency.

Okay, the world is full of distractions, but as the saying goes “Writers write.” We have to learn to fight through the distractions and keep on doing our job.

For me, I’m trying to figure out why it’s been so difficult recently. And yes, the world is crazy right now, and there’s a feeling of isolation due to Covid. Last year, however, was more than just Covid and the pandemic that none of us saw coming. It was the anger of this nation, with the presidential election dividing America nearly in half. It was the protests and riots, and general unrest that had many of us shaking our heads wondering what was happening to the United States. Then, if you throw in any type of personal crisis, health issue, job loss, and more, well, how much more can we take?

The new year was going to bring new hope, and there are sparks of hope, but overall, things remain the same.

So, for me, trying to have any glimmer of creativity has been tough. I’ve determined that a lot of my block has been negativity. The world is angry. I feel like we’ve lost our kindness and compassion for one another. There’s so much negativity going around that it’s blocking out the positive. Comments on social media posts are vindictive and nasty. You can’t even agree to disagree. If you don’t believe like someone else does, they can call you all kinds of names, and are so filled with hate, it’s almost frightening. What happened to politeness and plain old common courtesy?

Personally, I don’t mind disagreeing with others. I like hearing their viewpoint on issues. By listening to all sides, I learn new things. I can think about things from a different perspective. Even if I still disagree with them, I like knowing their point of view. This goes back to agreeing to disagree. I try to be an open, positive person in my day-to-day life, but right now, the negativity is sucking the energy and creativity right out of me. I’m weighed down with hopelessness. How do you combat that?

There’s only one way: Look for the good. If you’re in such a mindset of anger, then you’ll only see offense everywhere you turn. If you look for kindness, you’ll see positivity more and more. It’s too easy to fall into the negative trap.

My faith helps me a lot. And lately the Bible verse in 1 Thessalonians that says “Pray without ceasing” has been put into action like never before. Jeremiah 29:12-13 (NIV) says, “Then you call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

That’s what I need to keep in mind: What am I seeking? Am I so consumed with negativity that it’s the only thing I see? Or am I looking for good things? Anger breeds anger, but on the flipside, kindness breeds kindness.

We need to ask ourselves what are we looking for? I know what I’m seeking – how about you?

The Silence Is Deafening

Back in my younger days, I worked in radio broadcasting. In my office, the radio station was always playing in the background. No matter what we were doing, we always had one ear tuned in. So, even with the radio playing, phones ringing and conversations in the office, you know what the loudest sound was? You guessed it: silence.

If the radio station went off the air, everything stopped.  You had to pay attention to what was wrong. That silence was deafening. I finally understood what this phrase meant.

In today’s world, there’s a lot of noise… a lot! It’s rarely quiet with television, radio, social media, responsibilities from work and home. There doesn’t seem to be much silence.

Noise can be distracting. Recently, a friend of mind was counseling her son, who did not get a job he had applied for. He has applied for several jobs, and this particular one wasn’t his top choice. But he was still disappointed. His mom gave him good advice. She asked him if this was the job he really wanted, and he confirmed that it wasn’t his top choice. Then she reminded him that this was just noise. Yes, he probably was looking for validation by being accepted for a position, even though it wasn’t his first choice. But her advice was right one. It was just noise. He needed to put it aside and keep focused on his future goal.

This makes me wonder how many times I let noise get in the way and distract me from doing what I need to do.

I believe in having quiet time in the morning, where I do a daily devotional, but I know once I get going on my day, I’m really, really good at getting distracted. I fight the noise of procrastination, of worry, and sometimes even laziness.

Last fall, I wrote a post about taking four minutes a day for quiet time. You can read it here. https://talkingamongfriends.com/2019/10/03/do-you-have-four-minutes/.  It’s something I probably need to go back to when the noises get deafening, instead of the quiet. I need to pay attention to what’s most important.

By taking the time to silence the noise, you may not find all the answers. But you might find a little peace, a little less distraction, and perhaps a little more focus. Maybe it’s time to enjoy the deafening silence.

 

I Failed…I didn’t Watch My Words (Video and Text)

The link below is to a video following up on last week’s “How do we talk to ourselves when we look in the mirror?” Apparently I wasn’t paying attention to my own words.

Video Link: I Didn’t Watch My Words

Here’s the text from the video:

Hi Everyone. Thank you for the great response to last week’s video on
“Watching your Words,” on how we talk to ourselves when we look in the mirror.

Before we move on, apparently, I need to go back and watch that video again.

This past weekend our granddaughters were over, and we were all playing out in the backyard. Before I go on let me give a shout out to my oldest granddaughter, who apparently likes to watch Grammy on these videos. So, hi Daphne! Grammy loves you.

Anyway, Daphne and her little sister were over and we’re all playing in the backyard and then afterwards my daughter posted some pictures on Facebook. And I saw one picture of me, and immediately started criticizing how fat I looked and how big I looked.

My husband stopped me and he said, “Is that all you see?”

My beautiful granddaughters

I sheepishly said, “Well, no. I see our beautiful granddaughters.”

And he said, “I see a Grammy out there kicking the ball with her granddaughters.”

And he has a point. I was out there playing with them and running around and kicking the ball. I wasn’t sitting on the sidelines.

But it shocked me how quickly and easily I fell back into the self-criticism mode of talking badly about myself after looking at one picture. Even when you’re watching out for how you watch your words, how you talk to yourself, you can slip back into the negative cycle.

We all have value. We all have a purpose, and the purpose of that day was me being a good Grammy. They didn’t care that I looked fat, they were glad I was out there participating.

So, I’m back to the drawing board, I need to watch my words and watch how I talk to myself.

Now, did I fail because I had this lapse? No, but it is something you need to pay attention to… I need to pay attention to. It can happen so easily.

So, we’re back on the cycle of positivity. We’re back on the cycle of I have value. And I have a purpose, and I have a meaning. And if I’m so unhappy with how I look, then I could go out and do something about it. So, stop the negativity.

Today’s the day to choose joy, and to believe in yourself and to believe in your purpose.