Category: thankfulness

Going Against the Flow

I have a great group of friends. I’m very, very thankful for that. We can talk, laugh, and cry together.

Recently, an issue came up, and I discovered that I’m at odds with most of my friends. During a dinner discussion one evening with this particular group of friends, they asked me how I felt about this issue (and no, I’m not going to mention the specifics here). Well, instead of hemming and hawing and trying to deflect, because the discussion had already gone around the table, I chose to be honest with them. Although they are close friends, it was still difficult to open up because my opinion was different than nearly everyone else’s. I didn’t think I’d lose friends over this, but I also did not want to cause tension.

Guess what happened? Instead of tension, or even flippant remarks of how wrong I was, I received support and words of encouragement. Relief filled me.

I told my friends that I was glad for the open conversation, as it helped me learn more about the issue and to understand why my friends feel the way they do.

Holding a different point of view these days feels very strange, almost to the point of feeling isolated. You’re going against the norm, and like the cliché says, you’re swimming upstream.

That night of conversation makes me wish the world was more like this. Agreeing to disagree, respectfully, peacefully, and listening to all sides of the issue. When we listen to each other, we learn more. We learn about our friends, and while we all may not agree on everything, it does make a difference when you understand why they feel the way they do.

So, to my friends, I say thank you. Thank you for understanding, thank you for listening and respecting my point of view, as I respect yours.

Next time a friend expresses a view that’s different from your own, please listen to them. Try to understand why they hold that opinion, then have a quiet, respectful discussion. Who knows? You might find you have more common ground than you realize, and you might even learn something about each other, and yourself.

The Cancer Journeys: Blindsided by Emotions

I’m currently planning a series of blog posts about cancer, called “The Cancer Journeys.” This will be a series of posts about my journeys with cancer that are designed to give someone else hope and courage, no matter what you’re going through.

As I was gathering old journal entries and making notes of my thoughts, my emotions started going all over the place. I stopped, and told my husband, “My brain is full.” I got really sad, and, if you ask my husband, maybe even a bit prickly. 😉

It’s taken me a few days to sort through my emotions, and I’ve come to a startling conclusion: I’m angry! This surprises me, because I’m not very temperamental, and not the anger type.

However, right before Christmas, I had surgery, and from that surgery, the pathology showed I had endometrial cancer. This is my third time with cancer, and all three are different types. With this most recent one, before the hysterectomy, we weren’t even 100% sure that it was cancer. With my other two cancers, we already had the confirmed diagnosis and had an idea of what we were dealing with. This time, we didn’t.

It’s really strange to find out you had cancer after the fact. We caught it early, and no other treatment is required. It was almost over before it began. My first symptom showed up November 1st, and by December 21st, I was in surgery. It happened quick, and before I could blink, I was recovering from surgery.

Now, here I am, just over two months later, I’m recovered, feeling great, and back to my regular activities and life. But emotionally, maybe not so much.

As many of you may know, my husband and I were high school sweethearts, who ended up at different colleges, and eventually to different lives. We reunited and married 21 years after high school. Yes, we’re one of those couples. During those 21 years apart, my husband married and had children, then tragically lost his wife in a car accident.

Over the years, we’ve talked a lot about grief, especially how grief can blindside you. You can be going along, doing okay, then hear a song on the radio or smell her favorite perfume, and bam! Suddenly, you’re a puddle of tears.

I think there’s grief with cancer as well. Please know, I’m not equating the loss of a loved one with the loss of a body part or two. But there is a level of grief and emotion when you’re battling for your health.

Even if the immediate diagnosis, surgery, crisis have all passed, you can still be blindsided. Any traumatic event is going to leave a scab. And sometimes scabs get ripped open again and bleeds.

You know what? It’s okay to be emotional. I’m good at stuffing my emotions and putting on a brave front. But once in a while, you just have to roll with the punches. And this week, I’m acknowledging my anger at a third cancer diagnosis, despite the fact that all is well right now.

I won’t carry this anger around forever – that takes too much energy! But I need to acknowledge it, face it, then put it behind me as best I can.

God has gifted me with a glorious life. It’s time to get on with it!

How about you? Have you ever had emotions sneak up on you from a past event? How did you deal with it? I’d love to hear from you.

Linking Arms: Stronger Together

Last summer was difficult in many ways, with the pandemic and a nation divided. Closer to home, the issue was a major health crisis with my parents; one had the health issue, and the other had to helplessly watch their spouse decline, then fight back. It was a challenging, life-changing time, especially for Mom and Dad. Thankfully, they’re both doing pretty well today, although things changed permanently for them.

A few of my cousins at a recent reunion (nope, this isn’t all of us!).

During the midst of this crisis, my cousins were dealing with the passing of their father, my dad’s brother, my uncle. His passing wasn’t completely unexpected, but I’m not sure that made it any easier.

The pandemic made my uncle’s funeral service smaller than what we normally would’ve done. And my parents most assuredly would’ve been among the few that would have attended. My husband and I were with my parents during this time, and I didn’t feel like I could leave them then either. It was a grim time all the way around, to say the least.

I’m part of a very large family, that thankfully, is a pretty tight bunch. Every other year, we have a “cousin reunion” that is filled with more laughter and love than we deserve. So, for all of us to be separated and not able to be together in person was heartbreaking.

However, when I was speaking to my cousin as he was making funeral arrangements with his siblings, we spoke about how difficult it was to be apart while we each were dealing with our individual trials. He then said something that has stayed with me all these months later. He said that we’re all linking arms and getting through this together. The visual image of my cousins all linking arms was an amazing one, and has resonated with me ever since. We couldn’t all be together when we wanted to be, but we could symbolically hold each other up.

I’m personally not always good at reaching out to others, but when I think about “linking arms,” it makes it easier to ask for help when needed.

How about you? Have you linked arms with someone recently, or is there someone you can reach out to and support?

We need to remember that we’re stronger together.

The Reality of Faith, Trust, and a Positive Attitude

www.TalkingAmongFriends.com - Rebecca YaugerI’m a big believer in having a positive attitude. I believe that your attitude can get you through life’s tough times….or it can defeat you.

But what happens when your world stops?

There are times in your life when your immediate world shifts on its axis, while the rest of the world moves on.

Right now, in the midst of the pandemic, there are many who are dealing with their own personal crisis: the death of a loved one, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a job, just to name a few. Their worlds have stopped, while the rest of us have continued on. It’s a strange place to be.

Today, my husband and I find ourselves in a life-halting situation. And it seems to be affecting our attitude about our jobs and our faith. It’s very disconcerting.

But as I’ve been thinking and praying and wrestling with this situation, I keep seeing a similar message via my Bible study, morning devotional, and even Facebook memes. It’s the overall message to trust God. He’s in control, He has a plan, and He’s walking with us.

While that message is comforting, it has also occurred to me that as much as I think I’m a faithful person, I have to ask the question: Do I really trust God?

Do I trust him only in times of crisis? Or do I praise him only in the good times and act like he’s deserted us when the tough times come? Aren’t we supposed to believe in Him 100% of the time? The easy answer is YES! But it’s not so easy all the time, is it?

I’m learning that God doesn’t want us to turn to him only in times of trouble, whether personal or world catastrophe. He wants us to turn to him in everyday life. Every day. Not just some days.

Times are hard right now, no doubt. I’m wrestling with the future, with difficult decisions that need to be made, and yes, I’m a little scared of what lies ahead of us. It looks like there are some tough days coming. But every day, I need to ask myself how is my attitude or my fear interfering with my trust in God?www.TalkingAmongFriends.com - Rebecca Yauger

Like I said earlier, I’m a big believer in a positive attitude. How we deal with the curve balls can make things easier or more difficult. A positive attitude, to me, stems from a positive faith in God.

Truthfully, I’m not all the way there with my attitude. Fear seems to be winning at the moment. Anxiety is clouding the way. So, right now, it’s even more important to get back on the path. To trust in God’s way. To allow Him to bring wisdom and peace. It may take me a little time, but I know I’ll keep pushing ahead. It takes a daily effort and a daily attitude check.

How about you? Do you have any advice on how to deal with tough times? Do you believe you’re trusting God always, all day?