Category: True friends

Being Extraordinary

I love movies! Anyone who knows me knows that I love watching movies, and I will watch and analyze the same movie over and over again. Besides the entertainment value, movies can be inspirational.

Sister Act from Buena Vista Pictures

One such movie is “Sister Act” from 1992 with Whoopi Goldberg. Wait. What? A Whoopi Goldberg movie being inspirational? Okay, maybe not the entire movie, but a portion of it, as it relates to the growth of the character of Sister Mary Robert, played by Wendy Makkena.

When Sister Mary Clarence (Goldberg) takes refuge in the convent and first meets the choir, she’s suddenly thrust into the position as leader of the choir. As Goldberg takes the reins of the group, she notices Sister Mary Robert (Makkena) blending into the background and only mouthing the words to the songs. Mary Clarence then brings Mary Robert front and center. Goldberg’s character explains that Mary Robert needs to sing loud enough to be heard over the noise of a diner, with clacking silverware and loud waitresses. Finally, Mary Robert’s voice is heard, and it’s a sweet one. Throughout the course of the movie, Mary Robert is more front and center with the choir, and doing more solos when they perform. She’s come out of her shell and is no longer hiding in the back, just mouthing the words.

How often do we find ourselves hiding and merely going through the motions? Do you have big dreams, but are plagued with self-doubt? As I may have mentioned before, I’m reading a book by Alli Worthington called “Standing Strong.” In it, Worthington talks about “playing small.” In the sense of not letting comparison, fear, or self-doubt hold you back from pursuing your dreams, or just living your life to the fullest.

Mary Robert was playing small – not letting her gifts come out because of fear, and not believing she had a true talent.

Recently, I’ve come to believe there’s no such thing as ordinary. Whether you’re a CEO, a writer, a waiter/waitress, or a housewife (or househusband), you are extraordinary. It doesn’t matter what job you have! Anything we choose to do in our lives has value. Any time we come around friends to laugh and enjoy, or comfort and console, we’re offering something special to them – something extraordinary.

Yes, there are times we feel like we’re living in a mundane world, with routine lives, feeling plain and not special. But that’s not true.

In a recent post on this blog, I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Is there a dream you haven’t achieved yet? For some, their lives may have taken a completely different direction, and they never had the opportunity to pursue their dreams. Goals can go by the wayside when we have the responsibility of a family and bills to pay.

That being said, remember Friends, you are not a failure. Maybe your time just hasn’t come. Or maybe you were destined for something else. I don’t know what God had in mind for you, but I know we have the ability to make our circumstances worse or better, by our own attitude. Even if we’re not where we want to be in our job or in our life, doesn’t mean we aren’t extraordinary. We can offer each other so much, just by giving of ourselves.

I’m blessed to be on a new path these days. I’m a college student again, finally completing my bachelor’s degree that I started over 40 (gasp!) years ago. Will school make me extraordinary? No, not necessarily. But school is proving to me that I’m not too old to keep pursuing my dreams. I’m not too old to influence those around me. I don’t have to keep playing it small.

My new mindset is going to be “There’s no such thing as ordinary.” Remember, you are special. You matter. You are extraordinary.

Do you believe this? Let me hear your thoughts. And let’s encourage one another.

Going Against the Flow

I have a great group of friends. I’m very, very thankful for that. We can talk, laugh, and cry together.

Recently, an issue came up, and I discovered that I’m at odds with most of my friends. During a dinner discussion one evening with this particular group of friends, they asked me how I felt about this issue (and no, I’m not going to mention the specifics here). Well, instead of hemming and hawing and trying to deflect, because the discussion had already gone around the table, I chose to be honest with them. Although they are close friends, it was still difficult to open up because my opinion was different than nearly everyone else’s. I didn’t think I’d lose friends over this, but I also did not want to cause tension.

Guess what happened? Instead of tension, or even flippant remarks of how wrong I was, I received support and words of encouragement. Relief filled me.

I told my friends that I was glad for the open conversation, as it helped me learn more about the issue and to understand why my friends feel the way they do.

Holding a different point of view these days feels very strange, almost to the point of feeling isolated. You’re going against the norm, and like the cliché says, you’re swimming upstream.

That night of conversation makes me wish the world was more like this. Agreeing to disagree, respectfully, peacefully, and listening to all sides of the issue. When we listen to each other, we learn more. We learn about our friends, and while we all may not agree on everything, it does make a difference when you understand why they feel the way they do.

So, to my friends, I say thank you. Thank you for understanding, thank you for listening and respecting my point of view, as I respect yours.

Next time a friend expresses a view that’s different from your own, please listen to them. Try to understand why they hold that opinion, then have a quiet, respectful discussion. Who knows? You might find you have more common ground than you realize, and you might even learn something about each other, and yourself.

Learning to be Silent

Lately I feel like my mouth is running ahead of my brain. There has been more than one occasion where I’ve regretted my words the second they were out of my mouth. Most definitely cases of speaking without thinking. I’m tired of opening my mouth and inserting my foot!

With this awareness, I’m trying to be silent. When I’m with my friends, I’m learning to sit back and just listen.

The other night, I carried this a little bit further. I kept the TV off! Now, I’m a TV watcher. And admittedly, sometimes I have the television on only for company and I’m not really watching it. Previously, when working in the broadcast industry, I got used to the background noise of the radio or TV station constantly on. If we accidentally went off the air, it really was a case of “the silence was deafening.” So, I’m used to noise.

Anyway, the other night, I hadn’t turned on the television, and never bothered to. My husband and I enjoyed the evening reading, and I started a new cross stitch project (now whether I finish that project or the several other projects I’ve started is a blog post for another time!). But you know what? I really enjoyed that evening. I relished in the quiet and really liked the silence.

As a Christian, I’m taught to listen to the still small voice of God. I read in a devotion that to tune into God’s voice, we must tune out this world’s noise. How can we do that if we’re focused on everything else but Him?

I’m not sure I heard God’s voice the other night, but I believe it was good to sit in silence. And if I’m prayerful the way I should be, who knows what God might say!

Have you ever done this – sat in silence? If not, try it! Turn off the TV, turn off the electronics. Just read, or knit or study something.

This is good practice for me to sit in silence with friends as well, and LISTEN. Truly hear what they have to say and not just think about my response. Perhaps if I thought more carefully before I spoke, then my foot would stay out of my mouth!  I’m still learning to be silent, and to grow comfortable with silence. But so far, I think it’s something I need to do more often.

How about you? Do you like quiet? Have you taken time to shut off the electronics? Let me know how it worked for you.

 

 

The Need for Community

This blog is entitled “Talking Among Friends” for a reason.  I want it to be a safe place to talk about friendships, relationships and life in general.  Originally, this blog started out as “Rebecca’s Journey,” where I wrote about my experience with cancer.Friends Silhouette

After a while, I didn’t want to talk about cancer any more.  Life started again, and I wanted to break away from that dreadful disease.  Relationships are what matter in this life, whether it’s your relationship with God, your family, and your spouse and kids.

Sadly, cancer is still a fact of life for friends around me.  It’s much too prevalent in this world, and I’m sure we all know someone who has had cancer or even passed away from this awful disease.

A friend of mine is recovering now, and has finished all of her treatments of chemotherapy and radiation.  She’s finding her way back.  At a recent gathering of friends, her first in a long time, she said something that struck me.  In the midst of her treatment, all she could do was sleep and focus on getting through it day-by-day. During that time, she said she couldn’t even pray.

For those of us who can’t get through the day without praying, even sending up the so-called “arrow prayers,” then we know what a dark place she was in.

As her friends, we had been rallying around her as best we could, in whatever way we could. Mostly, by prayer, emails and phone calls.

She also said something else.  She said, “Others held me up when I couldn’t.”

Talk about the power of community and friendship!  She could feel our support for her.  When I was fighting cancer, I could also feel the prayers of many.   What a comfort that was and how helpful it was in my own recovery.

Can you imagine not having friends or any type of community around you?

When life throws us curve balls, or when you’re celebrating a joyous occasion, how would it feel to celebrate alone?  Or to face the darkness alone?

We all get busy with our own families and careers, but it is so important to take the time to find that community, that fellowship and friendships in which to share your life.

We all need to make the effort, me included, to reach out more or deepen the friendships with those already in our lives.

What are you doing to take the time for friends? To find that community?