Perspective, Momentum, and a Dry Erase Board

My recent blog posts have talked about Overcoming Self-doubt and Breaking the Negativity Cycle. Doing these things lead to a fresh start. It’s wiping the slate clean and beginning again with a new attitude and motivation to press on. That sounds great in theory, but it isn’t easy to accomplish. I relate to this in an unusual way: by looking at the large white dry erase board I have in my office.

Last year, when I revamped this blog, that white board was filled with blog post summaries, and ideas for the short videos I did at the time. I was having a blast and accomplishing so much with this renewed commitment to TalkingAmongFriends.com.

However, in August 2020, a family emergency hit that required my time and attention, and I quit posting on my blog. Then I posted sporadically, but had another dry spell in late spring and early summer of this year. It was frustrating because something I had been so excited about got pushed to the side.

Earlier this summer, the time came for me to refocus on this blog so I opened up the cabinet where my dry erase board is. On that board, there were all of last year’s ideas and accomplishments. It was a tangible symbol of my work. Until I stopped writing. Now, it almost seemed like my board was mocking me.

As I focus on writing again, I see that there are two ways of looking at that white board. One way would be the negative way, where the board showed my progress but also where it all stopped, and where I floundered for the rest of the year. You know, this is the board that mocks me.

However, in light of my recent blog posts, I need to look at that white board in a positive way: as in, “Look at all I accomplished last year!” I did so much. It should be cause for celebration not negativity!

It’s all about perspective. It’s either negativity for the year I didn’t complete, or it’s fighting the negativity cycle and self-doubt, and looking at the positive and the accomplishments.

I know myself well enough to know that the battle between discouragement and confidence will continue. However, by paying attention to how I view things, I truly want to let hope win, not fear, and not discouragement. I’m really good at beating up on myself about my lack of discipline, but in truth, last year’s white board proves that wrong. I did have the discipline. I had the desire and I was doing it! By looking at the positives, I know I can do it now.

It’s time to fill up the white board again, using all the different colored markers I can find!

How about you? How do you get back on track when you lose momentum? How would a change in perspective help? I’d love to hear from you.

Let’s encourage one another.

Break the Cycle of Negativity

I love attending writer’s conferences. It’s wonderful to be around others who also hear voices in their heads, ha!

You leave the conference inspired, ready-to-go, happy to have met other writers. You’re all fired up to write, then you come home and BAM – reality hits! The cursor relentlessly blinks on that blank page. Your family needs your attention, the laundry needs to be done, and oh, you’ve received a rough critique of your work and there’s no way you’re ever going to be published. You might as well give up!

See how easy it is to get into a negative cycle?

On my last blog, I talked about breaking the cycle of negativity and self-doubt, and about putting God first in all I do, so I could walk with confidence and honor Him with my life and with my calling.

What do you do next, when negativity strikes? Conventional wisdom says, you get up the next day, dust yourself off, and start again. Really? I’m tired of starting again and again, and getting nowhere. I’m not strong enough for this. No way! Maybe I should just make popcorn and binge watch something on Netflix.

Oops! There I go again….getting caught up in the cycle of negativity and self-doubt. See how it creeps in so easily?

It’s time to break the cycle. Yes, it’s hard. It’s very hard. I’m struggling with it now. But this is where you have to pay attention and be aware of when the negativity cycle pays a visit.

As mentioned in my previous post, be prayerful. Spend time with God. Talk to a friend. Let your frustrations out, then remember to return the favor when your friend needs you!

We need to encourage one another. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Yeah, this all sounds so cliche. And here comes the frustration once again.

But guess what? Most cliches are true.

We have to get up each morning and try again. We have to celebrate the small victories. We need to lean on friends once in a while (something I’m terrible at doing).

Sometimes, we need to take a break. Only if we make sure it’s a refreshing break, not an “I quit” break.

Finally, always, always, put God first. You can yell at him, you can cry and shake your fist. Then be thankful. Come to him with praise and gratitude, and pick yourself up, walk with confidence and try again.

Pretty soon, as the days pile up behind you, and you’ve found the courage to pick yourself up again and again, you’ll see progress. There will be more good days than not.

I’m hoping and praying through Christ’s strength that this is true, and that cycles of self-doubt will lessen the more I take action and move forward. This is nothing new, but apparently, I need the reminder.

You really do have to put one foot in front of the other. You’ll need to be intentional, purposeful and disciplined. But you won’t be alone as you take these steps, even small ones.

Believe me, I’m taking baby steps as well. I have a goal of where I want to be in a year. And I certainly don’t want to be where I was a few weeks ago — okay, even yesterday.

Psalm 40:2 (NLT) is good to remember: “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”

So, walk on my friends. We can do it, one step at a time.

Stay strong. Keep going. You’re not alone.

Please share your tips on how you keep going when you face obstacles or when you’re discouraged.

Let’s encourage one another.

Climb out of the Self-Doubt Pit

We’ve heard this all before: Life is a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs and twists and turns. Despite the cliche, it’s still true that sometimes we feel like we are doing well managing life, and other times, we’re drowning.

It’s incredibly easy to get into a rut. And it’s nearly effortless to get into a cycle of negativity and self-doubt, or to throw yourself into the pit of self-pity.

For all my efforts to be a positive person, I’m very good at beating up on myself. I hear the voice of doubt. You know the one that says “You can’t do this and nothing will ever change.”

That was me not too long ago. I was caught in the routine of “I don’t have what it takes to finish the novel I’m working on.” “The tendinitis is back in my foot…probably because I’ve gained weight and can’t seem to control my eating.” “I’m getting older and nothing is going to be better.” Yeah, you get the idea.

However, I hate drowning in that pit, so I was determined to get back to my regular routine, do my morning devotional, and set aside time to write and try to combat all my negative thoughts.

Negativity is a strong force, and it takes effort to fight it.

I’ve been reading through a book called “Standing Strong” by Alli Worthington. (This isn’t the first book by this author that I’ve read. I’m also a fan of “Fierce Faith” and I’ve blogged about that book previously). It had been a while since I had picked up “Standing Strong.” And when I realized where I had left off in the book, I had to chuckle, and marvel, at God’s timing.

I was in the middle of a chapter on self-doubt!

There were so many good nuggets of information in this chapter, and good reminders — Philippians 4:13, for example, “I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength.” (NLV). I don’t like taking Bible verses out of context, but she followed up with “When we bring God into any battle – we win.” All of this was a reminder to put God first, pray to him and let him guide your steps.

Then, two other reminders popped up more than once over various sources. One was to honor the calling of my life, and to honor the life I’ve been given. With all of my negativity, how much honoring, and gratitude, have I given for my life recently? Yikes!

The other reminder was to have confidence. That doesn’t mean walking around like a know-it-all. Confidence means taking a step forward, even when it’s scary, even when you’re not sure of what you’re doing — or better phrased, when you’re not sure what the outcome will be. This confidence comes from God. It all starts with Him FIRST! The rest will follow.

How can you climb out of the pit of negativity? We can’t do it on our own strength. Without thoughtful, intentional prayer, and intentional action, nothing changes. NOW is the time to break the cycle and step out in confidence and honor all that He’s given you and me.

Will it be easy? No, of course not. There will be obstacles. But guess what? I don’t have to stay stuck. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to pick yourself up again and keep going. And that’s when you lean on God, lean on his strength, like it says in Philippians.

I want to honor the life I’ve been given and honor the calling on my life. I can only do that by bringing God into the battle.

How about you? Has a friend spoken truth into your life? Have you run across the same message or words again and again that fill you with hope? I’d love to hear your story.

Let’s encourage one another.

ACFW New Releases: July 2021

Time to find your next great book to read. Check out the books releasing this month from ACFW authors!

July 2021 New Releases

More in-depth descriptions of these books can be found on the ACFW Fiction Finder website

General Contemporary:


Rocky Mountain Restoration by Lisa J. Flickinger — Josephine Thorebourne doesn’t deserve happiness. Not after the mess she’s made. Mid-voyage, on the steamship Jameson, she learns of the tragic loss of her family’s money. Money she stole with the hopes of turning a profit. What should be a delightful voyage up the Canadian coast turns into a journey of regret. Josephine seeks the solace of the man she loves, only to find out he’s an imposter. Left with no other choice, she must return to her home town of Stony Creek and face the anger of those she’s betrayed. Owen Kelly was given the opportunity of a lifetime to steward on the SS Jameson. The work meant he could escape his difficult upbringing along the wharves of Chicago. When his heart falls for the woman in cabin eight, Owen must decide if he will continue his work on the ship or follow the love of his life to her Rocky Mountain home. (Historical Romance from Wild Heart Books)


Rescuing Her Heart by Cindy Ervin Huff — On visitation rounds as a lay preacher, the last thing rancher Jed Holt expects is to be shot at from the barn next to a burned-down homestead. But the soot-covered woman hiding inside needs protecting, and Jed is the man to do it whether she likes it or not. Delilah James’s nightmares began when she came to Kansas as a mail-order bride. Her husband was nothing like his letters. Now that he is dead, she can’t shake his abuse from her heart. Trusting men tops her never-again list, and taking a job on the Holt ranch as a housekeeper is a means to save money and bring her parents west. But her attraction to the compassionate former chaplain both angers and confuses her. Jed has his own nightmares from a POW camp and understands Delilah better than she knows. Can two broken people form a forever bond? (Historical Romance from Iron Stream Media)


Gold Rush Bride Caroline by Linda Shenton Matchett — Scarred in a childhood accident, Caroline Vogel has yet to find a man willing to marry her, so she heads to the Pike’s Peak goldfields to pan enough ore to become a woman of means. When she and the handsome assistant trail boss hit it off, she begins to hope her future may not be spent alone. Then she catches wind of dark secrets from the man’s past, and she’s not sure what or who to believe. Orphaned as a teenager, Oliver Llewellyn stole to survive, then used his skills for the army during the war. Nowadays, he applies his knowledge to catch dangerous thieves for the Pinkerton Agency, so guarding a young woman during a wagon train journey should be easy. But he didn’t count on the fact she’d angered a man bent on revenge. He also didn’t count on losing his heart. (Historical Romance from Shortwave Press)


Hollywood is Not Home by Annmarie M. Roberts — Would you trade fame for privacy? Movie star Maggie Malone has a glamorous lifestyle with everything money can buy―except privacy. Hounded by the paparazzi and ridiculed for her faith, Maggie secretly struggles with severe anxiety and loneliness. All she desires is to be herself–southern girl by birth, ranch lover by heart. When an anonymous benefactor invites Maggie to participate in a secret project, will her hopelessness find a new direction? Or will she become another celebrity travesty? What if she discovers Hollywood is not Home? Her faith, family, love, and future hang in the balance . (General Romance from Ambassador International)


The Scarlet Pen by Jennifer Uhlarik — Enjoy a tale of true but forgotten history of an 19th Century serial killer whose silver-tongued ways almost trap a young woman into a nightmarish marriage. In 1876, Emma Draycott is charmed into a quick engagement with childhood friend Stephen Dee Richards after reconnecting with him at a church event in Mount Pleasant, Ohio. But within the week, Stephen leaves to “make his fame and fortune.” The heartbroken Emma gives him a special pen to write to her, and he does with tales of grand adventures. Secret Service agent Clay Timmons arrives in Mount Pleasant to track purchases made with fake currency. Every trail leads back to Stephen—and therefore, Emma. Can he convince the naïve woman she is engaged to a charlatan who is being linked a string of deaths in Nebraska? (Historical Romance from Barbour Publishing)

General Historical:


If it Rains by Jennifer L. Wright — It’s 1935 in Oklahoma, and lives are determined by the dust. Fourteen-year-old Kathryn Baile, a spitfire born with a severe clubfoot, is coming of age in desperate times. Once her beloved older sister marries, Kathryn’s only comfort comes in the well-worn pages of her favorite book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Then Kathryn’s father decides to relocate to Indianapolis, and only the promise of a surgery to finally make her “normal” convinces Kathryn to leave Oklahoma behind. But disaster strikes along the way, and Kathryn must rely on her grit and the ragged companions she meets on the road if she is to complete her journey.
Back in Boise City, Melissa Baile Mayfield is the newest member of the wealthiest family in all of Cimarron County. In spite of her poor, rural upbringing, Melissa has just married the town’s most eligible bachelor and is determined to be everything her husband―and her new social class―expects her to be. But as the drought tightens its grip, Henry’s true colors are revealed. Melissa covers her bruises with expensive new makeup and struggles to reconcile her affluent life with that of her starving neighbors. Haunted by the injustice and broken by Henry’s refusal to help, Melissa secretly defies her husband, risking her life to follow God’s leading. (General Historical from Tyndale House)

Romance Contemporary:


Make You Feel My Love by Robin Lee Hatcher — In 1895, Cora Anderson jumps on a cross-country train to escape New York society and her domineering father. She leaves with only some spare clothing, jewelry that once belonged to her grandmother, her cherished violin, and hopes for an uncertain future. The tiny town of Chickadee Creek is idyllic and welcoming, but it’s only a matter of time before Cora’s new friends discover the secrets of her past. More than a hundred years later, Chelsea Spencer is fleeing a dangerous situation of her own when her great aunt’s antique shop in Chickadee Creek becomes the perfect haven. At the same time, up-and-coming Hollywood star Liam Chandler has returned to the town of his ancestors to grieve some painful family losses and ponder the direction of his career. (Contemporary Romance from HarperCollins Christian Publishing (Thomas Nelson and Zondervan))


A Future to Fight For by Mindy Obenhaus — Widow Paisley Wainwright’s so close to taking her Texas event-planning business to the next level by turning Renwick Castle into a wedding venue. Only one thing stands in the way: her longtime rival, Crockett Devereaux, who wants the building to become a museum. When the building’s owners insist they collaborate to implement both plans, can Paisley and Crockett put their differences aside…and fight for their dreams together? (Contemporary Romance from Love Inspired (Harlequin))


The Cowgirl’s Sacrifice by Tina Radcliffe — Needing time to heal after a rodeo injury, Kate Rainbolt heads to her family ranch to accept the foreman job her brothers offered her months ago. But the position’s already been filled by her ex-boyfriend, Jess McNally, and the only open job reports to him. With Jess as her temporary boss—and turning into something more—might he finally convince Kate to put down roots? (Contemporary Romance from Love Inspired (Harlequin))


The Yes Dare by Kathleen Y’Barbo — After spending most of her adult life as a football wife and mother to twin sons, fashionista Coco Sutton is learning how to be single and fabulous. Emphasis on Fabulous. The sports trophies, memorabilia, and heavy masculine wood furniture in the home she used to share with Ryan have been banished to the attic, and her home is now a cozy haven of plush candle-scented comfort. She’s got big plans that include owning a boutique or maybe an art gallery, but she never planned to take on the biggest challenge of her life: staying single. Then her best friend gives her a copy of a book called The Yes Dare, and all her plans are turned upside down. (Contemporary Romance from White Glove Publishing)

Romantic Suspense/Thriller:


Her Sanctuary, His Heart by Michelle Dykman — Five years ago, Braelyn Kane’s daughter died. Her marriage imploded, and Forest Hill became Braelyn’s sanctuary. She’s praying for her new life to start, but she doesn’t know where to find it. (Romantic Suspense/Thriller from Ambassador International)


Lethal Cover-Up by Darlene L. Turner — Some secrets are dangerous…But uncovering the truth could be deadly. Border patrol officer Madison Steele knows her sister Leah’s fatal car crash was no accident. Someone’s willing to kill to cover up a pharmaceutical company’s deadly crime of distributing tainted drugs. Now they are after Madison to tie off loose ends. But with her high school sweetheart, Canadian police constable Tucker Reed, at her side, can Madison expose the company’s deadly plan before she becomes the next victim? (Romantic Suspense/Thriller from Love Inspired (Harlequin))

Speculative Fiction/Fantasy:


Journey to ChiYah by Kimberly Russell — JADE PEPPERDINE HAS A PROBLEM: Her life is crumbling beneath the weight of the past, events of the present, and fears for her future. Things need to change, but she doesn’t know where to start. Answers come in the form of an unexpected opportunity when Jade finds herself stuck in a mythical land. She meets Mayor Dudley, who insinuates she is emotionally broken and in need of repair … a fact she’d just as soon ignore. He offers to help her get home if she is willing to face her issues through a process of restoration. Frightened and skeptical yet out of options, Jade grudgingly agrees. And soon figures out that change is a journey, not a destination. (Speculative Fiction/Fantasy, Independently Published)

Western:


A Man with a Past by Mary Connealy — Falcon Hunt awakens without a past, or at least not one he can recall. He’s got brothers he can’t remember, and he’s interested in the prettiest woman in the area, Cheyenne. Only trouble is, a few flashes of memory make Falcon wonder if he’s already married. He can’t imagine abandoning a wife. But his pa did just that–twice. When Falcon claims his inheritance in the West, Cheyenne is cut out of the ranch she was raised on, leaving her bitter and angry. And then Falcon kisses her, adding confusion and attraction to the mix. Soon it’s clear someone is gunning for the Hunt brothers. When one of his brothers is shot, Falcon and Cheyenne set out to find who attacked him. They encounter rustled cattle, traitorous cowhands, a missing woman, and outlaws that take all their savvy to overcome. Ajs love grows between these two independent people, Falcon must piece together his past if they’re to have any chance at a future. (Western from Bethany House (Baker) Publishing)

Young Adult:

You, Me and the Stars by Michelle Dykman — He thinks she’s shallow, she thinks he’s a nerd. What happens when they are forced to work together?
(Young Adult from Ambassador International)

Plus check out these recent additions to Fiction Finder published within the past month:


An Unexpected Legacy by Amy R. Anguish, Smoothies brought them together but would the past tear them apart? (Romantic Suspense)

Where Hope Begins by Heidi Chiavaroli, This is Book 2 in The Orchard House Bed and Breakfast Series, a contemporary twist on the well-loved classic, Little Women. (General Contemporary)

Discovering Emily by Carlene Havel, How can Emily rebuild her life after her husband deserts her? (Contemporary Romance)

The Father He Deserves by Lisa Jordan, A determined dad. A wary mother. Making amends is never easy… Injured in a kayaking accident, champion Evan Holland returns home to train rescue dogs. But his unexpected partner is the woman he left behind, Natalie Bishop. And she has a secret: a son Evan never knew he had. Now Evan must prove he can be a real father. But earning Natalie’s trust back will take hope, forgiveness—and risking everything on forever… (Contemporary Romance)

Amish Country Threats by Dana R. Lynn, Her brother was murdered. Will she be next? (Romantic Suspense/Thriller)

Secrets in September by Doreen McAvoy, Will was looking forward to eighth grade. Will he even make it past September? (Middle Grade)

It’s Mystery…Birds by Janetta Fudge Messmer, Follow the Early Birds, plus one, on an RV journey where snooping around leads them to more than clues. It may even include a little matchmaking amid criminal activity. (Mystery)

Trapped in a Hot Air Balloon by Mark Wainwright, When angry siblings find themselves trapped and terrified in a runaway hot air balloon, their situation spirals out of control, forcing them to confront their fears in order to survive the crash landing. (Young Adult)