Tag: encouragement

The Waiting

We’ve all heard the expression “Good things come to those who wait”. On the flip side, there’s the Tom Petty song about waiting. As he says, it is the hardest part. Which one is right? In my opinion, both adages are true.

As I look back on my life, there are two very strong examples of “Good things come to those who wait.”  

The first is my husband. We dated in high school, and a little bit in college. In fact, I wrote in my journal when I was 17 that I had met the man I was going to marry. But, as most kids do, we ended up going our separate ways. I moved back to New Mexico, and Vince stayed in Texas, got married, and had a family. Twenty-one years after high school, we got back together again. We’ve now been married 20 years. And he definitely was worth waiting for.

Top: In high school, on the day we met. Bottom: On a recent snowy day.

The other waiting had to do with my college education. I never finished my degree when I started it all those years ago. But at that time, they didn’t have the exact degree program I wanted. I’ve always been interested in writing. Back then, that usually meant getting an English degree which meant teaching. I wasn’t meant to be a teacher.

The alternative was Journalism, which didn’t touch enough on the creative side of writing as far as I was concerned. I finally opted for studying radio, television, and film at the University of Texas. I really enjoyed that, as a long-time TV and movie watcher. But as mentioned earlier, I left Texas and returned to New Mexico and never finished my degree. I did, however, end up having a 15- year career in radio and television. Broadcasting was great and it was a wonderful time in my life. But as I thought about returning to school, it seemed pointless to go back and get a broadcasting degree when I’d already had a career in broadcasting. It wasn’t worth the money or the time, since I had real-life experience with that.

But late last year, my wait was over. In September, I received a notice that Colorado Christian University was offering a Bachelor of Arts degree in Creative Writing. This was the first time I’d heard of this exact degree. I was aware of MFA programs, but not a Bachelor’s in this discipline.

I had a chat with my husband who is super supportive, in so many ways. We discussed finances, time, and as many other details as we could hash out. I finally thought, “Well, I’ll apply and see what happens.”

I was accepted… quickly. Before I knew it, I applied for transfer scholarships, and returning student scholarships, and let me tell you, the doors back to school flung wide open!

So, over 40 years after I started my first degree, I am once again a full-time student and will finish next year through the online modules at Colorado Christian University.

My husband now walks around telling everyone that I had to wait for the right degree program to come along before I went back to school. Okay, 40-plus years is quite a wait. But there you go.

There is good in the waiting. even when you don’t realize you’re waiting. If, however, you can reflect, you can see where waiting was good. I waited for my husband for 21 years. With the support he gives me now, I probably wouldn’t be pursuing my degree after waiting for the right program to come along.

Waiting is good. Waiting is hard. Good things can come to those who wait.

Being Extraordinary

I love movies! Anyone who knows me knows that I love watching movies, and I will watch and analyze the same movie over and over again. Besides the entertainment value, movies can be inspirational.

Sister Act from Buena Vista Pictures

One such movie is “Sister Act” from 1992 with Whoopi Goldberg. Wait. What? A Whoopi Goldberg movie being inspirational? Okay, maybe not the entire movie, but a portion of it, as it relates to the growth of the character of Sister Mary Robert, played by Wendy Makkena.

When Sister Mary Clarence (Goldberg) takes refuge in the convent and first meets the choir, she’s suddenly thrust into the position as leader of the choir. As Goldberg takes the reins of the group, she notices Sister Mary Robert (Makkena) blending into the background and only mouthing the words to the songs. Mary Clarence then brings Mary Robert front and center. Goldberg’s character explains that Mary Robert needs to sing loud enough to be heard over the noise of a diner, with clacking silverware and loud waitresses. Finally, Mary Robert’s voice is heard, and it’s a sweet one. Throughout the course of the movie, Mary Robert is more front and center with the choir, and doing more solos when they perform. She’s come out of her shell and is no longer hiding in the back, just mouthing the words.

How often do we find ourselves hiding and merely going through the motions? Do you have big dreams, but are plagued with self-doubt? As I may have mentioned before, I’m reading a book by Alli Worthington called “Standing Strong.” In it, Worthington talks about “playing small.” In the sense of not letting comparison, fear, or self-doubt hold you back from pursuing your dreams, or just living your life to the fullest.

Mary Robert was playing small – not letting her gifts come out because of fear, and not believing she had a true talent.

Recently, I’ve come to believe there’s no such thing as ordinary. Whether you’re a CEO, a writer, a waiter/waitress, or a housewife (or househusband), you are extraordinary. It doesn’t matter what job you have! Anything we choose to do in our lives has value. Any time we come around friends to laugh and enjoy, or comfort and console, we’re offering something special to them – something extraordinary.

Yes, there are times we feel like we’re living in a mundane world, with routine lives, feeling plain and not special. But that’s not true.

In a recent post on this blog, I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Is there a dream you haven’t achieved yet? For some, their lives may have taken a completely different direction, and they never had the opportunity to pursue their dreams. Goals can go by the wayside when we have the responsibility of a family and bills to pay.

That being said, remember Friends, you are not a failure. Maybe your time just hasn’t come. Or maybe you were destined for something else. I don’t know what God had in mind for you, but I know we have the ability to make our circumstances worse or better, by our own attitude. Even if we’re not where we want to be in our job or in our life, doesn’t mean we aren’t extraordinary. We can offer each other so much, just by giving of ourselves.

I’m blessed to be on a new path these days. I’m a college student again, finally completing my bachelor’s degree that I started over 40 (gasp!) years ago. Will school make me extraordinary? No, not necessarily. But school is proving to me that I’m not too old to keep pursuing my dreams. I’m not too old to influence those around me. I don’t have to keep playing it small.

My new mindset is going to be “There’s no such thing as ordinary.” Remember, you are special. You matter. You are extraordinary.

Do you believe this? Let me hear your thoughts. And let’s encourage one another.

The Pain of Unforgiveness

I recently journaled about forgiveness, or more accurately, accepting forgiveness. I wrote, what I thought, was a pretty powerful piece about guilt and worthiness, and how we should accept forgiveness when it’s offered, even if we don’t feel like we deserve it. God will forgive us, when we ask. It’s pretty simple, and as usual, human beings like to complicate things.

Well, right after I wrote that, I realized something…. Here I was talking about forgiveness, yet, I’ve been wrestling for a long time about forgiving a family member. I can talk about accepting forgiveness, yet didn’t think about extending it to someone else.

Not wanting to be a hypocrite, I’m coming clean here on this blog. Please tell me I’m not the only one who wrestles with this!

Forgiveness is hard, whatever side of the equation you’re on – extending forgiveness or receiving it.

In my case, even though I tell myself I’ve extended forgiveness, even had a tough conversation with that person, the hurt is still there. It surprises me that I’m having a hard time forgiving. Or maybe I have forgiven, but I haven’t forgotten. I don’t know.

When I had a good yet tough conversation with this family member, I truly tried to listen to his side of the story. I wanted to understand him. And while that conversation gave me more clarity, it didn’t take away the pain or the issue at hand.

This is something I’ve been thinking and praying about for a long time, and I try to find the answers in God’s word.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) says: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Okay, great advice. But how do you do it?

In the book of Matthew, chapter 6, verses 14-15 (NIV), it says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” The New Living Translation puts it even more succinctly, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Ouch!

The book of Hebrews chapter 10 talks about Christ’s sacrifice. In verse 17, it says “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” This is similar to a verse in Jeremiah 31: 34, “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” (NIV)

So, the Lord basically says He’ll wipe the slate clean, yet I’m having a hard time following His example.

The burden of unforgiveness is a weight on my shoulders and getting harder and harder to carry. Or maybe I’m just having a hard time letting go of the hurt.

My heart has definitely softened toward this family member. And the few times we’ve seen each other since that tough conversation have been good. I love seeing him. But when I think back to the incident that has me not forgiving him, the hurt dredges up all over again.

So, tell me, Friends, are there any secrets to help me? How do you let go of the hurt, even after you’ve forgiven someone? Or you think you’ve forgiven them?

Let’s encourage one another!

Perspective, Momentum, and a Dry Erase Board

My recent blog posts have talked about Overcoming Self-doubt and Breaking the Negativity Cycle. Doing these things lead to a fresh start. It’s wiping the slate clean and beginning again with a new attitude and motivation to press on. That sounds great in theory, but it isn’t easy to accomplish. I relate to this in an unusual way: by looking at the large white dry erase board I have in my office.

Last year, when I revamped this blog, that white board was filled with blog post summaries, and ideas for the short videos I did at the time. I was having a blast and accomplishing so much with this renewed commitment to TalkingAmongFriends.com.

However, in August 2020, a family emergency hit that required my time and attention, and I quit posting on my blog. Then I posted sporadically, but had another dry spell in late spring and early summer of this year. It was frustrating because something I had been so excited about got pushed to the side.

Earlier this summer, the time came for me to refocus on this blog so I opened up the cabinet where my dry erase board is. On that board, there were all of last year’s ideas and accomplishments. It was a tangible symbol of my work. Until I stopped writing. Now, it almost seemed like my board was mocking me.

As I focus on writing again, I see that there are two ways of looking at that white board. One way would be the negative way, where the board showed my progress but also where it all stopped, and where I floundered for the rest of the year. You know, this is the board that mocks me.

However, in light of my recent blog posts, I need to look at that white board in a positive way: as in, “Look at all I accomplished last year!” I did so much. It should be cause for celebration not negativity!

It’s all about perspective. It’s either negativity for the year I didn’t complete, or it’s fighting the negativity cycle and self-doubt, and looking at the positive and the accomplishments.

I know myself well enough to know that the battle between discouragement and confidence will continue. However, by paying attention to how I view things, I truly want to let hope win, not fear, and not discouragement. I’m really good at beating up on myself about my lack of discipline, but in truth, last year’s white board proves that wrong. I did have the discipline. I had the desire and I was doing it! By looking at the positives, I know I can do it now.

It’s time to fill up the white board again, using all the different colored markers I can find!

How about you? How do you get back on track when you lose momentum? How would a change in perspective help? I’d love to hear from you.

Let’s encourage one another.