I Feel Like A Fraud

Talkingamongfriends.com by Rebecca Yauger - I feel like a fraud post

I feel like a fraud.

Have you ever had those days where not much goes right, or you receive startling news, or well, you’re just having a bad day?

It’s during those times that we’re supposed to have faith, trust God, face things with a smile on your face, right? Yeah, well…(insert eye roll here).  I’m failing miserably at facing things with a smile.

I’ve had a tough couple of days and I’ve let out my frustration with anger and fear. Not being prayerful, not even calming down enough to take a breath and get a handle on the situation.

That’s not like me. As my husband and kids will tell you, I’m not one to yell. I don’t like arguments. If I’m upset about something, it’s best to leave me alone for a few minutes, until I can settle down and we can talk things through calmly. I don’t like harsh words spoken that we can’t retract.

As someone who has been writing about having hope and staying positive, well, I’ve done neither of those this past week. That makes me feel like a hypocrite and a fraud.

But I’m not. I’ve had a few bad days. I was thrown a curve ball and didn’t handle it well, but that doesn’t have to blow everything for me. It doesn’t mean God isn’t still working. And it doesn’t mean that I will continue to have bad days. It does mean, however, that I need to take a breath, calm myself, and dive right back into my faith, into Scripture and try to right myself.

We are living in uncertain times and I don’t know what the days or months ahead are going to look like. I have moments of trepidation for what the future holds for me. However, I don’t have to spiral down into a pit of despair, anger and frustration. I’m a flawed human being, and have emotions that get the best of me sometimes. But I’m not a fraud. I’m just human. And I can right the ship, take a breath and start all over again.

How about you? Do you have times where you don’t handle things well? How do you get back on track? I’d love to hear from you.

Attitude: It’s Your Choice (Video and Text)

Positive Attitude TalkingAmongFriends.com by Rebecca Yauger

Choosing a Positive Attitude

 

Video Link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/qwez3ye7cvtffau/20200618_150631.mp4?dl=0

 

 

Text from Video:

Hi everyone. The last few weeks on TalkingAmongFriends.com, I’ve wrestled with the choices we make. Whether we choose to have hope or despair, and whether we’re choosing to listen, or we’re choosing to lash out in anger. And these choices are hard when the mood of the country is just so volcanic right now. Things are in such flux between the pandemic, and the riots, and the protests. It’s a difficult time. It’s a difficult time to have a positive attitude and I’m a big believer in attitude.

To me, attitude has always been half the battle. It helped me overcome a motorcycle accident in my younger, wilder days. It helped me overcome from cancer twice. I’m not saying it’s just my attitude alone. It’s prayer, and it’s God’s grace and bringing the right people into my life at the right time.

But attitude helps finding that resolve, finding that strength, finding a way to stay positive, even in the midst of all this chaos. I think it’s so important. If you’re lacking that positive attitude then pray about it, really think about it. Think about how you’re reacting to things and try to make the conscious choice to be positive, and to choose hope.

Stay well, my friends. We’ll talk to you soon. Thanks.

I Failed…I didn’t Watch My Words (Video and Text)

The link below is to a video following up on last week’s “How do we talk to ourselves when we look in the mirror?” Apparently I wasn’t paying attention to my own words.

Video Link: I Didn’t Watch My Words

Here’s the text from the video:

Hi Everyone. Thank you for the great response to last week’s video on
“Watching your Words,” on how we talk to ourselves when we look in the mirror.

Before we move on, apparently, I need to go back and watch that video again.

This past weekend our granddaughters were over, and we were all playing out in the backyard. Before I go on let me give a shout out to my oldest granddaughter, who apparently likes to watch Grammy on these videos. So, hi Daphne! Grammy loves you.

Anyway, Daphne and her little sister were over and we’re all playing in the backyard and then afterwards my daughter posted some pictures on Facebook. And I saw one picture of me, and immediately started criticizing how fat I looked and how big I looked.

My husband stopped me and he said, “Is that all you see?”

My beautiful granddaughters

I sheepishly said, “Well, no. I see our beautiful granddaughters.”

And he said, “I see a Grammy out there kicking the ball with her granddaughters.”

And he has a point. I was out there playing with them and running around and kicking the ball. I wasn’t sitting on the sidelines.

But it shocked me how quickly and easily I fell back into the self-criticism mode of talking badly about myself after looking at one picture. Even when you’re watching out for how you watch your words, how you talk to yourself, you can slip back into the negative cycle.

We all have value. We all have a purpose, and the purpose of that day was me being a good Grammy. They didn’t care that I looked fat, they were glad I was out there participating.

So, I’m back to the drawing board, I need to watch my words and watch how I talk to myself.

Now, did I fail because I had this lapse? No, but it is something you need to pay attention to… I need to pay attention to. It can happen so easily.

So, we’re back on the cycle of positivity. We’re back on the cycle of I have value. And I have a purpose, and I have a meaning. And if I’m so unhappy with how I look, then I could go out and do something about it. So, stop the negativity.

Today’s the day to choose joy, and to believe in yourself and to believe in your purpose.

How Are You Talking To Yourself? (Video plus text)

The link below is to a video about how we talk to ourselves, whether we’re negative or positive.  If you don’t have a few minutes to watch the video, the text of it is also below.

Video Link: How Are You Talking To Yourself?

Video Text:

There’s a subject that keeps coming up in different ways and I think it’s time to talk about it. We’re a culture these days of  “It’s all about the outside”. Women are striving to have a youthful appearance, have the perfect hair and the perfect body. Men don’t want to be balding or have the beer belly paunch. There’s nothing wrong with looking the best we can. But when we start obsessing over it, I think that’s where it can lead to trouble.

Let me ask you a question: How do you talk to yourself? When you look in the mirror in the morning, are you making a face? Are you beating up on yourself for not having perfect hair or, being the perfect weight? Are you chiding yourself because those pants don’t fit any more? Look at these lines on my forehead!

Listen to your words. Are you in a cycle of negativity about how you speak to yourself, and about how you see yourself? Are you picking on yourself?

When I started thinking about this for me, I realized I made a lot of jokes at my own expense. You know, I’ll make a joke about my bad hair day or my chubby thighs. And the more I paid attention, the more I realized how often I did that, how often I belittle myself, even through a joke. And I shouldn’t be doing that. I am God’s child. He created me.

I wish we could see ourselves the way God sees us. It doesn’t matter that we’re not the perfect weight, whatever that is. Or the most beautiful person in the world, whatever the definition of beauty is. Or the perfect size, whatever that is.

Are you looking at culture’s definition of beauty? Or are you looking at God’s definition of beauty? There’s a big difference there.

I am not perfect. But I am a unique creature. I am God’s daughter. And it’s okay for me to have my gray hair, and to have laugh lines, and yeah, even to have chubby thighs. But it’s not okay for me to belittle myself or to shoot myself down. You wouldn’t do that to your best friend, so why would you do to yourself? Why would you do that to God’s creation?

We’re going to talk more about this in down the road, but for the next week or so, do me a favor. Listen to yourself as you talk to about yourself. Are you belittling yourself? Are you in a cycle of negativity? If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.

Watch your words. Try to get into a cycle of being positive. Take care of yourself. And we’ll see you next time.