Tag: Self-doubt

Being Extraordinary

I love movies! Anyone who knows me knows that I love watching movies, and I will watch and analyze the same movie over and over again. Besides the entertainment value, movies can be inspirational.

Sister Act from Buena Vista Pictures

One such movie is “Sister Act” from 1992 with Whoopi Goldberg. Wait. What? A Whoopi Goldberg movie being inspirational? Okay, maybe not the entire movie, but a portion of it, as it relates to the growth of the character of Sister Mary Robert, played by Wendy Makkena.

When Sister Mary Clarence (Goldberg) takes refuge in the convent and first meets the choir, she’s suddenly thrust into the position as leader of the choir. As Goldberg takes the reins of the group, she notices Sister Mary Robert (Makkena) blending into the background and only mouthing the words to the songs. Mary Clarence then brings Mary Robert front and center. Goldberg’s character explains that Mary Robert needs to sing loud enough to be heard over the noise of a diner, with clacking silverware and loud waitresses. Finally, Mary Robert’s voice is heard, and it’s a sweet one. Throughout the course of the movie, Mary Robert is more front and center with the choir, and doing more solos when they perform. She’s come out of her shell and is no longer hiding in the back, just mouthing the words.

How often do we find ourselves hiding and merely going through the motions? Do you have big dreams, but are plagued with self-doubt? As I may have mentioned before, I’m reading a book by Alli Worthington called “Standing Strong.” In it, Worthington talks about “playing small.” In the sense of not letting comparison, fear, or self-doubt hold you back from pursuing your dreams, or just living your life to the fullest.

Mary Robert was playing small – not letting her gifts come out because of fear, and not believing she had a true talent.

Recently, I’ve come to believe there’s no such thing as ordinary. Whether you’re a CEO, a writer, a waiter/waitress, or a housewife (or househusband), you are extraordinary. It doesn’t matter what job you have! Anything we choose to do in our lives has value. Any time we come around friends to laugh and enjoy, or comfort and console, we’re offering something special to them – something extraordinary.

Yes, there are times we feel like we’re living in a mundane world, with routine lives, feeling plain and not special. But that’s not true.

In a recent post on this blog, I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Is there a dream you haven’t achieved yet? For some, their lives may have taken a completely different direction, and they never had the opportunity to pursue their dreams. Goals can go by the wayside when we have the responsibility of a family and bills to pay.

That being said, remember Friends, you are not a failure. Maybe your time just hasn’t come. Or maybe you were destined for something else. I don’t know what God had in mind for you, but I know we have the ability to make our circumstances worse or better, by our own attitude. Even if we’re not where we want to be in our job or in our life, doesn’t mean we aren’t extraordinary. We can offer each other so much, just by giving of ourselves.

I’m blessed to be on a new path these days. I’m a college student again, finally completing my bachelor’s degree that I started over 40 (gasp!) years ago. Will school make me extraordinary? No, not necessarily. But school is proving to me that I’m not too old to keep pursuing my dreams. I’m not too old to influence those around me. I don’t have to keep playing it small.

My new mindset is going to be “There’s no such thing as ordinary.” Remember, you are special. You matter. You are extraordinary.

Do you believe this? Let me hear your thoughts. And let’s encourage one another.

Break the Cycle of Negativity

I love attending writer’s conferences. It’s wonderful to be around others who also hear voices in their heads, ha!

You leave the conference inspired, ready-to-go, happy to have met other writers. You’re all fired up to write, then you come home and BAM – reality hits! The cursor relentlessly blinks on that blank page. Your family needs your attention, the laundry needs to be done, and oh, you’ve received a rough critique of your work and there’s no way you’re ever going to be published. You might as well give up!

See how easy it is to get into a negative cycle?

On my last blog, I talked about breaking the cycle of negativity and self-doubt, and about putting God first in all I do, so I could walk with confidence and honor Him with my life and with my calling.

What do you do next, when negativity strikes? Conventional wisdom says, you get up the next day, dust yourself off, and start again. Really? I’m tired of starting again and again, and getting nowhere. I’m not strong enough for this. No way! Maybe I should just make popcorn and binge watch something on Netflix.

Oops! There I go again….getting caught up in the cycle of negativity and self-doubt. See how it creeps in so easily?

It’s time to break the cycle. Yes, it’s hard. It’s very hard. I’m struggling with it now. But this is where you have to pay attention and be aware of when the negativity cycle pays a visit.

As mentioned in my previous post, be prayerful. Spend time with God. Talk to a friend. Let your frustrations out, then remember to return the favor when your friend needs you!

We need to encourage one another. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Yeah, this all sounds so cliche. And here comes the frustration once again.

But guess what? Most cliches are true.

We have to get up each morning and try again. We have to celebrate the small victories. We need to lean on friends once in a while (something I’m terrible at doing).

Sometimes, we need to take a break. Only if we make sure it’s a refreshing break, not an “I quit” break.

Finally, always, always, put God first. You can yell at him, you can cry and shake your fist. Then be thankful. Come to him with praise and gratitude, and pick yourself up, walk with confidence and try again.

Pretty soon, as the days pile up behind you, and you’ve found the courage to pick yourself up again and again, you’ll see progress. There will be more good days than not.

I’m hoping and praying through Christ’s strength that this is true, and that cycles of self-doubt will lessen the more I take action and move forward. This is nothing new, but apparently, I need the reminder.

You really do have to put one foot in front of the other. You’ll need to be intentional, purposeful and disciplined. But you won’t be alone as you take these steps, even small ones.

Believe me, I’m taking baby steps as well. I have a goal of where I want to be in a year. And I certainly don’t want to be where I was a few weeks ago — okay, even yesterday.

Psalm 40:2 (NLT) is good to remember: “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”

So, walk on my friends. We can do it, one step at a time.

Stay strong. Keep going. You’re not alone.

Please share your tips on how you keep going when you face obstacles or when you’re discouraged.

Let’s encourage one another.

Climb out of the Self-Doubt Pit

We’ve heard this all before: Life is a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs and twists and turns. Despite the cliche, it’s still true that sometimes we feel like we are doing well managing life, and other times, we’re drowning.

It’s incredibly easy to get into a rut. And it’s nearly effortless to get into a cycle of negativity and self-doubt, or to throw yourself into the pit of self-pity.

For all my efforts to be a positive person, I’m very good at beating up on myself. I hear the voice of doubt. You know the one that says “You can’t do this and nothing will ever change.”

That was me not too long ago. I was caught in the routine of “I don’t have what it takes to finish the novel I’m working on.” “The tendinitis is back in my foot…probably because I’ve gained weight and can’t seem to control my eating.” “I’m getting older and nothing is going to be better.” Yeah, you get the idea.

However, I hate drowning in that pit, so I was determined to get back to my regular routine, do my morning devotional, and set aside time to write and try to combat all my negative thoughts.

Negativity is a strong force, and it takes effort to fight it.

I’ve been reading through a book called “Standing Strong” by Alli Worthington. (This isn’t the first book by this author that I’ve read. I’m also a fan of “Fierce Faith” and I’ve blogged about that book previously). It had been a while since I had picked up “Standing Strong.” And when I realized where I had left off in the book, I had to chuckle, and marvel, at God’s timing.

I was in the middle of a chapter on self-doubt!

There were so many good nuggets of information in this chapter, and good reminders — Philippians 4:13, for example, “I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength.” (NLV). I don’t like taking Bible verses out of context, but she followed up with “When we bring God into any battle – we win.” All of this was a reminder to put God first, pray to him and let him guide your steps.

Then, two other reminders popped up more than once over various sources. One was to honor the calling of my life, and to honor the life I’ve been given. With all of my negativity, how much honoring, and gratitude, have I given for my life recently? Yikes!

The other reminder was to have confidence. That doesn’t mean walking around like a know-it-all. Confidence means taking a step forward, even when it’s scary, even when you’re not sure of what you’re doing — or better phrased, when you’re not sure what the outcome will be. This confidence comes from God. It all starts with Him FIRST! The rest will follow.

How can you climb out of the pit of negativity? We can’t do it on our own strength. Without thoughtful, intentional prayer, and intentional action, nothing changes. NOW is the time to break the cycle and step out in confidence and honor all that He’s given you and me.

Will it be easy? No, of course not. There will be obstacles. But guess what? I don’t have to stay stuck. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to pick yourself up again and keep going. And that’s when you lean on God, lean on his strength, like it says in Philippians.

I want to honor the life I’ve been given and honor the calling on my life. I can only do that by bringing God into the battle.

How about you? Has a friend spoken truth into your life? Have you run across the same message or words again and again that fill you with hope? I’d love to hear your story.

Let’s encourage one another.